What If.....

2010-07-08T20:49:00.002+08:00

幸福就像是一个玻璃球, 如果掉在地上, 碎片会飞得到处都是, 每个人都有机会起捡, 但是你无论怎么努力都捡不完, 但只要你肯努力, 你总会捡到一些的。我信了。但我自己知道我还不够努力，所以我失去了。可笑的是要在努力也没有用了。

2010-04-23T18:12:00.001+08:00

逐个字逐个字逐个认识
糖是甜唇是红谁是奇迹
看懂了
然后寻觅寻觅另一种价值
逐个梦逐副脸逐次累积
抱起过放低了然后回忆
然后期待期待下一位接力
你与我仍心跳
一切都不重要
你与我仍相信如何不得了
烟火最后也会退烧
最缤纷的花园游乐过
但求动心
就算是世界末日抚心自问
都想秒秒惊心
最宽方的公园游乐过
为何认真
若我倘占一席位都想入座
观赏这个惊险人生
做对事做错事换个脸色
对不起对得起留下评击
看开了然后承受承受
另一种压力
会过面道过别直到熟悉
看一眼吻一次留下痕迹
爱不够然后期待期待
另一种角力
你与我仍心跳
一切都不重要
你与我仍相信如何不得了
烟火最后也会退烧
最缤纷的花园游乐过
但求动心
就算是世界末日抚心自问
都想秒秒惊心
最宽方的公园游乐过
为何认真
若我倘占一席位都想入座
观赏这个惊险人生
最缤纷的花园游乐过
但求动心
就算是世界末日抚心自问
都想秒秒惊心
最宽方的公园游乐过
为何认真
若我倘占一席位都想入座
观赏这个惊险人生

2010-04-18T19:57:00.002+08:00

Waking isnt hard, the hardest is to accept the Facts that you have to wake up. I am really tired...

smille an everlasting smile =)

2010-03-24T02:23:00.005+08:00

“ To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about it, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger,

jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride, and its not about how you appear, and it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free. ”

*cheer up my dearest! you know i care. smile real soon okay. <3

yours truly,

Wynny Oh

2010-03-10T14:10:00.001+08:00

差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

遇上了错的人
渐渐的吻在她无心的嘴唇
感觉像一个旅程走完了就分
错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
爱情的岔口
你是我等不到的路人
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
如果没缘分
我也会固执的为你一人
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

2010-03-04T01:20:00.001+08:00

你的手机又收不到
我像疯子在街上绕
努力跑你的温度
雨淋过几条街都散不掉

你面无表情的嘴角
像在嘲笑我的胡闹
回头看突然明了
爱过了使用期效你就想逃

我想维持礼貌忘记骄傲
继续做你唯一的城堡

习惯就好习惯就好
是我选择看不到分手预兆
没有一丝睡意的困扰无法治疗
习惯就好习惯就好
我承认我的伪装是真的不够好
请给我多一秒

你的手机又收不到
我像疯子在街上绕
努力跑你的温度
雨淋过几条街都散不掉

你面无表情的嘴角
像在嘲笑我的胡闹
回头看突然明了
爱过了使用期效你就想逃

我想维持礼貌忘记骄傲
继续做你唯一的城堡

习惯就好习惯就好
是我选择看不到分手预兆
没有一丝睡意的困扰无法治疗
习惯就好习惯就好
我承认我的伪装是真的不够好
请给我多一秒

习惯就好习惯就好
一个人在雨里继续的奔跑
却发现再也听不到自己的心跳
习惯就好习惯就好
我承认我的伪装是真的不够好
请给我多一秒一秒

2010-03-02T23:39:00.004+08:00

The hardest thing about growing up is that you have to do what is right for you even it meant to hurts alot...
A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go....

2010-03-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

Life isnt about what you dream of, what you really want and hope for...It is all about what you can really have....

2010-02-14T16:47:00.006+08:00

找不到人说心里的寂寞

找不到人都怕变得沉默

找不到命中注定在一起的人以后

很多人都笑我一个人过生活

爱只有简单笔画却比想象复杂

很安定爱变化我爱过几个人

也被爱过几遍却还是没能将幸福留下

爱是不可输的吗为何我还相信

她不是不欣赏我在等一个人

在等我的永恒告诉我爱不单行别害怕

用不完身边泛滥的自由

还是怕孤单是一种诅咒

羡慕我能飞的人为何在天黑以后

还是宁愿回到爱情那个枷锁

爱只有简单笔画却比想象复杂

很安定爱变化

我爱过几个人也被爱过几遍

却还是没能将幸福留下

爱是不可输的吗

为何我还相信

她不是不欣赏

我在等一个人

在等我的永恒

告诉我爱不单行别害怕

爱是不可输的吗为何我还相信

她不是不欣赏我在等一个人

在等我的永恒

告诉我爱不单行别害怕

我在等一个人

在等我的永恒

告诉我爱不单行相信她

xin bu liao qing

2010-02-05T15:54:00.003+08:00

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何厮守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了
今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何厮守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了
今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了
今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

2009-12-25T23:48:00.004+08:00

Apologizing - Does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right ; It just
means that you value your relationship more than your ego...

说对不起不是因为你对我错，而是我在乎我们的感情多过于我的自尊...

2009-11-09T04:31:00.003+08:00

在爱情的世界里没有所谓的对错...没有所谓一定要做的事也没有一定不能做的事....至于如何选择就要看个人的处事方式和道德观念...

其实每个人心中都有一把尺, 一把拿来衡量对与错的尺...每一个人的衡量标准都不一样, 有的觉得是对但有的却觉得是错, 每一个人对于对错的观点都不一样所以衡量的标准也不一样...事情的对错往往都不能轻易的就下定论, 在还没搞清楚一切之前千万不要以自己的尺来衡量对错然后就判断事情的结果, 因为不到最后一刻没有人会知道真正的对与错...

千万不要一失足成千古恨, 后来发现后悔了一切就来不急了...爱情也是如此, 事情往往难以捉摸, 难以分辨是非对错, 千万不要一时之气而乱下定论最后造成了无法弥补的过错, 然而伤害了彼此...因为到头来心痛的还是自己...自古以来情义就两难全, 鱼与熊掌的故事也听多了...到最后如何取舍就要看个人心里那把尺和衡量的标准, 至于是对是错没有人可以批评或责怪...

因为你不是那个人, 你根本不明白他在想什么...但我觉得那个人的心里也不好受吧......

FINALLY A NEW POST!

2009-09-19T16:26:00.012+08:00

*clearing all the spiddy webs and dust* GOSH~ Hello, i'm Jinsheng's little princess, the closest to his heart, his lover, his admirer, his E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. =) I guess i'm not a stranger to most of you,because i've seen you all before! Alright, i volunteered to blog for him because he is currently busy with his work and don't have much time to blog, therefore, i'm here! I don't know what to blog about, so i think i shall post up some pictures of us and our family. =)

phew~ i had a hard time searching for all those pictures and deciding if i want to put them up because i think i looked real fat last time. =( Well, look how much we've changed, but he've never ever changed his care and concern for me! Always there to listen to me when i cry, tolerate my tantrums, keep my darkest secrets, webcamming with me when i'm super ugly, walk me home, always the first person to call when i need an umbrella (LOL!), lastly, carry me high up and FLY FLY FLY! Woooohooooo~ Alright people, i think that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed this post! Goodbye! <3

2009-06-07T13:35:00.005+08:00

人与人之间的关系真的很奇妙，要从亿万人群之中相遇到相识到相交到相知真的很不容易。。。有句话说的好“百年修来同船渡，前年修来共枕眠“两个人要同船渡就要花上几百年的修行了，更何况是一起相终相守的伴侣。。。所以人应该很珍惜身边所有的朋友及家人与伴侣，因为能和这些人在今世相遇到度过人生的最后一刻真的很不容易。。。也就是因为这份不容易所以人才会想念才会思念对方，才会舍不得对方。。。所以人千千万万不要为了一点小事或争执而破坏了这份好不容易才修来得福份，因为到最后痛苦及伤心得永远都只是自己。。。人能开心得活在这世上不就是因为有身边的人互相扶持，互相分享吗。。。所以珍惜身边人是必然的也是必须的。。。不要因为他们不再身边而给于较少的思念与珍惜，其实应该不管身边的人在那里给于得想念思念都不可以少。。。这样人才能感受到彼此的真心与诚意，才能一起开心得走完生命的旅程。。。至于我呢，朋友及家人与伴侣是最重要得，因为少了其中一个我的生命就不完美了。。。所以我非常珍惜身边的每一个人包括在海外的朋友，因为我相信我们能相遇到相知到舍不得对方是一种很难得的缘份。。。所以我一辈子都不会忘记你们，也不会少珍惜身边的每一个人。。。祝福我身边每一个人幸福快乐。。。

一起走过得日子，我很开心。。。

2009-06-02T20:17:00.024+08:00

Finally got something to blog...a very nice and memorable event...a event that i wont forget...and all is about Emily Chan Tik Man.!! haha..it has been 4 years since she went back to Hongkong and finally she return back to singapore for holidays but only or 4 short days...too short le...should have be longer ma..emily..ahaha...after so long then saw her she really change alot as in mentally la..physical she didnt change abit..still the cute like girl i use to know...but mentally she became mature and more hardworking...it is a good thing she change to a better person and i felt happy for her...4 days of holidays i met her 3 full days...very happy and fun and i enjoy it alot...hope she really enjoy it as well...cause i able to meet her only on the second day so the first day surely is not fun cause without me..hahaha...

Emily Chan Tik Man

Meet her on the second day at bugis and we had chicken rice as lunch as she insisted it.. haha..then we walk around shopping for her present for her friends and family...she kept asking me to think of places and food using "四年才一次" making my headach..haha...luckily monyet and amanda came then monyet do the thinking...in the end we went to lavender food market for dinner...had a spread as she want to try alot of food hongkong didnt have...after dinner we sat and chat awhile then head to clark quay as she never been there before after it had renovate...took photos sight seeing and ended up at Beds as to find wenliang...actually though of chill awhile but in the end we end up drinking playing and singing...zhixiong and zhaocheng came later and join in the fun...have a fun night as amanda is very suay...haha...after drinking session she want to eat roti prata so we went to bukit timah to eat...monyet order alot and we cant finish it in the end..haha..after that send her home...

Emily and Me at Bugis

Emily and Me at Clark Quay

Me and Emily at Beds

On the 3rd day meet her at yishun 101 for lunch then went to guowen house to visit baby alicia as she never see her before...reach there play with the baby chit chat and took some photo meishan came later...after that went to songhua house to find him and acc him for lunch...then bring her to northpoint to see the changes of northpoint..haha..after that head to Vivo as she never been there before...walk shop chat took photos..had fun there and she keep use her scarf of something keep beat me..haha..then to harbour front for dinner then head back Vivo to wait for the rest to come...sat at the rooftop and chat alot...everyone came early then we head to st james...went in powerhouse and enjoy...she was enjoying at first but after that duno which guy throw on her shoe she became sad and angry...lucky songhua and i manage to get her to enjoy again...hahaha...played until 3am then head back for roti prata again...after that send her back home...

Me and Emily inside Powerhouse

On the fourth day which is the last day meet her at newton for lunch then went to chinatown to shop for her ba gua and the temperture is damn hot until we cannot stand so we head to Giants at tampiness to buy instant noodle for her boss...shop around in Giants then we head to tampiness one...walk the whole tampiness shopping mall but didnt find thigns to buy...haha...the whole day she keep beat me tickle me and the best she help me massage while moving down the escalator..haha...dare to ask me for tips !! haha...on our journey she gave me her hair for memento and i keep it..hahaha...but in the end she ask me to throw away she scare i curse her..hahaha.but i tie it on my comb....haha...then it is time to airport...and on the journey there i kept quiet all along...cause i duno what to say and i dont feel tat good as i really 舍不得她走..but she have to leave i know...so send her airport check in and wait for her departure....everyone keep quiet...i knew she will cry if others emo too..so everyone keep quiet and bid good bye to her....

Nerdy Emily

After she went back i knew from FB msg that she cried very hard in the airport and on the way back...even at home she is crying...hearing this make me not feeling well and more cant bear her to leave...cause after this meeting no one know when will be the next time we meet again...so thinking of this i miss her alot...miss her presence..miss her nonsense and the bond we had....but i admit i had a wonderful time with her for the past 3 days....i hope she really enjoy the 3 days alot and had fun....sorry i cant bring you to alot of places and i never do some of the thing i promise to to do and this make me regret about it...4 days is too short...but knowing that you had to return to hongkong to work hard for your family i knew you must go back...only hope that in hongkong you will always be happy and worry free...and you can fufill ur goals and dream as soon as possible....buying a house nearer to your work place....and really hope that you be healthy always....Stay happy, work hard and enjoy your life...do remember that me and others are always in singapore waiting and supporting you..( i know you will be reading this...) All the best to you...lastly i promise i will earn and save money to go to hongkong to find you....Take care my sister.....

我曾经听过有人说缘就是聚，份就是离...聚聚离离都是缘份，能聚在一起就是缘，会分离也是因为无份，不管是有缘还是无份，这些都是人无控制或无法预测的...有句话说"不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有..." 虽然每一个人包括我在内都希望能一辈子的拥有，但是能够拥有一辈子的又能有几个...一再的希望可能到头来换回的只是一场空...人本身能做的其实并不多，很多时候是环境迫使人放弃拥有而不是人自己本身要放弃...所以生命里才会有很多的悲欢离合...所谓生死有命富贵在天，人能不能拥有就只有听天由命了...因为一在的勉强最后痛苦的，我想也是自己...至于缘份这东西就交给上天去处理算了，而我呢就开开心心过我的生活吧...

2009-05-07T00:32:00.005+08:00

Life is born on an uneven road, so one must learn to balance himself to travel the journey of his life...there is no short cut and no free-ride...but to walk steadily one sure have to fall alot of times before he can really balance very well...so falling and hurting oneself is part of every human life...but what most important is not the falling and hurting oneself part...it is the after fall learning and all the support one could have when fell down...so learning to stand up and have faith is very important as it help you to continue your journey...so does having support, either from family, loves one or friends...come to think of it, i am very glad that i have a wonderful family...although most of the time they don't support what i do or even trust me but i know that no matter what happen they will always be there for me unconditionally even though alot of time we let eachother down...but i am still glad to have them as my family....Other than them my main support will be my friends...very very good friends...close enough be to brothers as how we address eachothers...haha...and we are quite a big groups...although they might not always be the first one to be there but i know when things happen they will never leave me alone...to know them and grew up together is really my best part of life...something which i thinks not alot of people can have...although we went stray when we were young but now everyone is getting back the right path and pulling eachother back...i really cherish them alot as other than family i only have them in my life...and from my past 25 years of living, i never heard there are other groups of friend like us exist...haha...so we are very rare...hahaha...to grew up have fun and supporting eachother for so long is really very rare things...so i cherish them alot no matter what others said or what might happen in the future...cause in life i only have my family and my brothers as loves one doesnt exist in me although i don't know why...haha...by having them supporting me my life balance quite alot...although now it is getting bumpy but i think with them supporting me and great faith i had i can walk throught it...maybe i dont really understand life, but through time i think i will understand it more and led a better life...lasly I love my Family and my Brothers...Hope Life will be better for everyone tommorow...!!! Cheers !

信任是人与人之间最基本而且必须拥有的条件, 但也是往往最缺少的...不管是亲情, 友情或爱情信任都扮演了一个非常重要的角色...有了信任人与人之间的距离会拉近, 误会会减少争吵也就会少之又少...没有了纷争世界就会更完美, 更幸福....人也就不会那么的伤心或悲哀....但是只要一少了信任, 这个世界就会变的很复杂很多的猜疑...误会自然而然就会多, 争吵也就会不断的发生而导致伤害甚至带来战争....到那时候世界就不幸福不完美了....由此可见信任是多么重要的一种必需品, 一种存在的价值....但往往人就是忘了去相信别人而导致很多问题的存在...到头来才去后悔但一切已经太迟了...人生最基本但却最容易忘记的...我想其中之一就是信任吧......

Doing something fun to spice up my boring life...

2009-03-10T20:25:00.008+08:00

Talk to me
Speak with me
Dont sink before you rise, baby
Dont fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels a world away
Whos to say, well be okay
We will make it through the night
Dont want to wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause were the same
And I know that will never change
Look, I bought your favorite ice cream
I dont want to see it melt away
If you walk out now
I dont know if we could be the same
Baby, just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I wont forget
And now, whos to say, well be okay
We will make it through the night
Dont want to wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause were the same
And I know that will never change
Look, I bought your favorite ice cream
I dont want to see it melt away
If you walk out now
I dont know if we could be the same
Baby, just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
I want you to stay here with me

2009-03-07T12:27:00.008+08:00

Off day again..nothing to do so came to update blog...nothing special this week...everyday work work work..haha..only tue went to visit baby alicia and pass her angbao cause LIFEN put me aeroplane again..haha..alicia got a new hair cut and is very cute...she look chubby and seem to have getting bigger in size..this is so good...haha...after that everyday is work until today...life seem so constant..nothing special about and it bore me alot...but no choice this is life...

yesterday night after work went to meet friend at bishan and then went for supper...i didnt know i choose the wrong place to supper until when i reach there and start eating...if i knew thing were like this i wont go there....hais....same old place, same old seat, same old food, but the person i am with is differentnot the same...the feeling is totally different...it remind of that night...the night when i was happy and like it alot even though i was very rush...then suddenly i felt a sharp pain but i continue my supper...went home after that and i walked the same route back...thinking of the night again my heart sank....slowly i walk back home...take a bath i think of alot...deep down my heart i know i understand alot just that i refuse to accept it...but now i know i have to accept it even slowly as i scare it might be a burden to others and somehow it is affecting my life...no matter how not happy i have to accept the facts that things had change and is not usual anymore...there is nothing more i can do about it...a clap need 2 hands...single hand cant do much...maybe all along it was a mistake , a misunderstanding..i dont know...but i am glad that it happened although felt sad that it never continue...i know there are things in this world are not meant to and not by force or what...so i can only accept it and wish for the best to me and others...i can only hope that things arent that bad yet...all i need is just some time to settle my thought and accepting it...Hope that the rest of the day will be Happy to me and all my close one....

世间万物都在变, 尤其是人...我忽然发现身边的事物尤其是人变的好陌生...不知道是因为自己变了, 还是身边的事物变了...想了很久也想不明白, 到最后也找不到答案...但放弃又不是我的作风, 问人我想结果也是一样...但这问题一直在我脑海里打转, 让我很困扰...但同时又找不到答案, 我真的不知道该怎么办才好...我想要得到答案应该是很难的吧...

我曾经找到了那种感觉, 但因为某些事情我失去了...我好后悔...我以为我不会在找到那种感觉, 但我错了...我又找到了那种感觉, 但我几乎我又要失去了...我不知道原因是什么但我好恨我自己, 恨我自己懦弱, 恨我自己的无知, 恨我自己的胆小, 恨我自己的无能...我好讨厌这种感觉.........我的心真的好痛, 好痛...除了怪我自己我真的不知该怎么样才好.......感叹............

I just need some time to settle down...

2009-03-02T13:25:00.012+08:00

finally have time to update...today i off so good finally can rest le..have been working for the pass week..everyday morning till late night..even my boss cannot stand it so today half day while i off..haha...it is tired working but able to work with my brothers it was fun too...after working i realise that i was not that fit anymore...very easily tired and not so strong to carry alot of thing like last time..think i need to train more fit...haha...the following week i will be busy working too until i got my result i going to send resume again to find job...hope i can find a good one...haha..

last sat i off too and afternoon went to buy baby anklet as guowen baby alicia full month...after buying walk around yishun then head to guowen house...gave alicia the anklet then chat around with others...after everyone reached we pack a big red packet for alicia..haha...guowen and colyn keep refusing but i stuff it into the anklet bag..haha...can see that they both are paiseh and apprecited it alot...haha...so happy to see alicia again...for now she is the only person who can make me happy and make my day better just by seeing her smile...haha..but she is sleeping the whole night until when we were about to go off she wake up and i carry her around..she is still so small size but very healthy...carrying her is so fun and nice...she she smile while i carry her..her smile really touches my heart..really love baby alicia alot...really wish her all the goods and healthy...haha...
after visiting her we went to watch movie "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE "...at first i tot it was a boring movie but after watching it i find it rather nice...the story plot is nice and good...it reflect alot on indian life and how evil a human can be just for money...it also show how brother are willing to sacrifice...i like the show quite alot and it make me think alot after that...it make it more believe that money is evil and it can make a human ugly...it make me know that how fortunate i am living alive and having a good life... it make me known to complain alot about life cause mine isnt the worst yet...i still have my family and brothers always there for me....haha...although the show ending is not really nice but consider good already...

it make me start to think about my life again and again...what i really want and how should i move...i seem to play too much in the past and i felt tired already...think it is really time for me to settle down and do something...must find a job that is good and have good prospect so that i can earn alot to support my family and my future family...i wont let my family suffer and i want them to be happy always...haha..
seeing guowen small family i feel so envy...it make me wanted wish to find someone who can be by my side all the time giving me advice and always support me...let me know that there is someone waiting for me at home, i will strive more just not to let her alone and suffer...someone who i really love and really love me...cause having someone to be by your side is really a blessing and knowing someone is waiting for you is a motivation for you to move further in life...having someone to take care of you is a big blessing too...but i know it is very hard to find someone like this..but i really wish i could find someone like this to fill up my empty heart...i really dun mind suffer for her and sacrifice for her...as long as she is happy and fine i will be happy too...but somehow i am scare to move...failure make me frozen my heart and make me more timid to step out again...for the past 25 yrs i have been alone..so i do not know how to step out and what to do...so i wont blame others for not giving me the chance to prove my love to them...cause maybe what i did is all wrong....but i will learn to be a better one and move on to achieve greatly...i really hope i have enough faith to do it...lastly i hope that i really can find my path to move on and lead a happy life, Baby alicia grow up well and healthy and my family ,brothers heathly and happy...i really enjoy the dao huey night alot and i like it alot....but i know goods things dun last for me...
在世界的一端有千千万万的人,为了没的吃饱喝足而感到害怕,而慢慢的饿死....但在世界的另一端却有千千万万的人,因为吃太多而害怕肥胖而导致会带来的疾病...这个世界真是奇怪,真是有缺公平...明明大家都是人但经历经理的遭遇却又那么的不一样...现实真的是很残酷,只要在不对的时间,到不对的地方,遇上不对的人,什么事情都有可能发生,不管好坏...真希望能够拥有开心和幸福一辈子...

Alicia Sleeping...

I took this photo..So CUTE...

Awake and stunt..haha..

2009-02-16T23:29:00.006+08:00

Finally i finish my 3 years of suffering...haha...last thur final paper finish..i was so happy..poly just went to an end...after 3 yrs of endurance and study it finally came to an end peacefully..haha..but this mean other start of my working life...boring...have to work and work and work until the day i left this world..so boring...now is the time finding jobs...but i am very confuse of what job should i work as...totally duno what to do...anyone have any ideal or have nice hob to intro to me?? the best is easy work but alot of money...wahahaha...but i know it is impossible...sian....

Last fri went to meet ploy yr 3 schmate for dinner then went around clark quay to find place to celebrate...but in the end there wasnt any place nice to go so in the end we went to Beds...total 8 people went and we order 4 bottle of martell...drink chat played...nearly everyone is drunk..haha..but think they enjoyed the night alot...after the drink send them home then went home and sleep...sat wake up early to help parent then rest at home until evening time meet all my best friend and head to town for dinner and shopping...haha...played along the way and disturb alot...just love going out with them..everytime is so full of fun and laughter...haha...after dinner roam around then waited for everyone and decide to head to Mind Cafe at opp parklane...went up played alot of games and have alot of fun...haha..then around 2 ++ went to east coast to find my fren as he is alone there...stay until 4++ then head home to rest...

sunday wake up help parent then head to safra to SWIM..haha..long time never swim le..although very tired but i still went...played alot there too...haha..then after the swim went to TTSH as my fren went to see doctor and we rot at Novena square until 8++ 9...then went back yishun for dinner....then went to Beds as 1 of my fren feel like drinking...haha..but the whole night i didnt drink alot cos i dun feel like it so i keep play pool...haha...played until 3++ then head home..by then i was damn tired...went home bath straight away fall asleep..haha..

today wake up and went to work...nothing else...
but in between work think alot...think alot of things...felt very confuse about my life...alot of things duno what to do....everything seem so unreal but yet so real...deep down in me i know i am not happy but there is too much thing i cant do without thinking much or scare to hurt others...i alwasy tend to care for others feeling first before mine...sometime it is really tired to do so..but i just cant dont care abt it...sometime i really think that i think too much...way too much..until nothing is done...but i'm scare of making mistake...All I want is just to pursuit what I really yearn for, but why is it always so hard...sigh...i always treat things with true heart but things always took me for granted...am i too greedy or am i really in wrong...i really duno...but i know i am really very sad and disappointed abt myself...no matter how much i had done it always seem useless or meaningless...sigh.... so should i give up or should i be persisent...i really duno what to do.....

坚强得太久好疲惫, 真的好想抱爱的人渐渐的睡... 要醉得清醒要知道我是谁, 根本记不得幸福是什么滋味... 我真的很累, 很想真的喝醉... 醉了就什么都不必去理会, 也不管所谓的对不对.... 然后让我的世界只有美没有灰... 但我知道这些都只是我天真的以为, 让我真的好想流泪....我无路可退, 但我为什么流不出泪....

我应该停留着, 还是继续走下去...

2009-02-02T21:45:00.012+08:00

Chinese New Year week had passed..i had a very great and happy CNY...haha..have alot of gathering this year and alot of happy stuff happened..so glad even though was tried but i really enjoyed it alot..hope every year CNY will be more and more happening..haha..

new year eve was at home helping out parent and preparing the reunion dinner then at night help out the praying then went to bed as no one is coming out...

First day woke up and prepared..then head to 5th uncle house for the CNY gathering...alot of relative came back this year...took alot of red packet, chatted and played around..then late afternoon went to my brother house as usual and played Wii...play alot and alot funny thing happened..haha...after that went to mother side second uncle house for the gathering...again feast played and chatted alot...after the family event meet others at 726 to decided place to go and to pay visit to huilong house..once every gathered move off to Clark Quay Rebel...order 2 bottle martell and we start our night...haha..took alot photos, drinks and played alot..but the place wasnt that happening so we decided to change to Dragonfly...reach Dragonfly order 2 bottle martell and we start the havoc night..haha..nearly every is drunk..haha..disturb alot ppl along the night and it was a very fun night...least i enjoyed it alot...hahaha...went back around 5am++ then went home bath sleeped...

CNY 2nd day , woke up then wait for call and prepare then went to songhua god father house...chat alot as long time didnt meet...around 9++ went to kewei house to gather with the rest of brothers...as kewei is leaving on fri to thailand for a year...chat alot, eat, drink and look at those photos we took when we were young...alot of memories flash back and found out that everyone had changed alot...haha...then they start gamble and i went home around 2am++ as i had school the following days..

CNY 3rd day, woke up early and went to sch for lesson...after school went home and prepared and went to bugis to pray then rush back to yishun to meet the rest of my brothers and we head to Trader Hotel for our 724 reunion dinner...haha..this year 29 people attended..although not everyone is present but it is good enough...haha...the food is normal and the variety is very limited...but it was quite cheap...after the dinner some went back and the rest of us went to Double O for our celebration..haha..reached Double O and some others join in after their work..went in order alot of drinks..First i orderd 23 glasses of tequila pop follow by 2 water fall, 4 lambo and countless jar of drinks...haha..every drink until high and went for dance...the jar keep coming in until quite alot is drink..haha..played until 3am++ then went out and head home...sent some home then went home bath and slept...enjoy the night alot as it is the once a year reunion dinner with all the brothers as some of them is always busy with work and seldom come out...but also deeply disappointed for those who never came and doesnt have valid reason or even came up a excuse to bluff me...but nvm..it is past le...i know the night is very fun and everyone enjoyed it alot....hahaha...hope every year also can be this happening...hahah...

CNY 4th day, woke up early wen to school for project and hand in the project...then went home and head to zhaocheng house as he celebrate his bday...quite a number attended and again feast chatted and gamble..haha..then halfway i and songhua went to preapre the present for kewei and drive here and there for the equipment...rush until 1am++ then went back cheng house and join the rest...but 2am++ went back home and i start to browse 1000++ photo and find the best for the Digital photo frame we bought for kewei...do until really cannot stand then sleep...

CNY 5th day, woke up 8am++ and head to songhua house to up the photo into the frame...after everything done place it nicely into a box then went to school for lab test...haha..so tired during the test...after sch straight away head to Changi airport to send kewei...quite a number attended and we gave him the present...very touching but he didnt cried...haha..wenliang sing a song for him and we took alot of photos...time reached and we send him through the gate...a lonely backview of him stunned me...i sure he will be missed and he will miss us alot...Take Care my bro...wish you all the best at thailand...after the sending went back yishun for dinner...went to huilong to grab him and we headed for our chill session but suddenly something happen so we change course then we had supper and went to PS to watch movie... after movie everyone went back home..and i was damn tired by then...haha...

CNY 6th day, woke up early to help parent then prepare and went to hospital to visit colyn and her new born baby...the baby is so cute...seeing her really melt my heart...haha...and seeing guowen and his wife i really envy them...only songhua knows why...hahaha...maybe i was really old le...started to think alot...haha...after the visit went to Boss house for dinner and stayed and chat about work...10++ went back yishun to park vehicle then head to central mall NaNa...but to my surprise it is empty..haha..like ghost town...hahha..duno what had happened..so we went to boat quay for a small drink then head to east coast...then supper then head home.....

CNY 7th day, woke up help out parent then rest away until guowen called and ask me for a favour, as he forgot to bring the drink he cooked for his wife so i help him cooked and bring to him with songhua...haha...slowly 1 by 1 others came and we play with the baby until the visiting time limit and we head back to yishun for dinner...had a feast...whole table of food...haha..after dinner went to thomson for ice-cream...then 12++ went back home as some of them is tired..hahaha...went home bath and slept...

7 days of enjoying ended and exam is coming...so boring...it seem like the enjoying is not enough..haha..but i know one must not be greedy so 7 days is enough le...haha..very happy for the past 7 days..but very tired too as 1 day also never sleep more than 5 hours..hahaha...but to me happy is the most important thing and i think everyone enjoy very single day with eachother...haha..think must try to organise more outing with them often...hahaha...everyone know eachother for about 10 years and more..it is a very long friendship and a close one...everyone care for eachother...and i know they will never leave me alone...haha..lastly hope my family and all my brothers happy and healthy......I love you all...wahahaha...

Dragon Fly...

Trader Hotel...

Changi airport...

2009-01-19T23:15:00.008+08:00

Finally time to blog...haha..have a wonderful weekend..enjoy alot on the Cable ski with my brothers and friends even though i injured myself and celebrated my grandmother bday on sun...haha...a nice happy weekend...

Sat wake up 3am++ due to some reason then waited until 7am went down and waited for everyone and head to Harbour Front for breakfast then head to the terminal to board the ferry to Batam around 9++...reach Batam around 11++ then head to the Cable Ski place...changed, did some warm up and briefing then chiong for the Ski..haha..did knee ski first as to grab the feeling of the ski then after manage to complete few rounds of it then i feel like to challange the stand Ski...haha..did some practing then straight away went for it...due to my stupidness i failed think 20++ time until i get so bore i played back knee ski as i can pillon my fren..haha..and this is the biggest mistake i make that day...wahaha...i got injure due to the ski as my fren accidentally knock onto my chest which causes great hurt and it hurt until now...so fuck up..haha...after i got injure i took a rest...but after seeing all my fren able to stand skiing i felt so not able to accept that i cant stand up...so despite the injury i went to ski again...haha...until alot of failure i finally grab the feeling to stand up and i can ski very far...haha..Yes..so happy about it and when i ski the pain is all gone...but everyone said that i was mad and crazy cause injured still continue to ski and everytime i crash i came back in pain...haha..but i think everything is worth it as i never let myself down at all...haha..and there will be a cable ski again in Feb..this time i going to stand 1 big round as the target...haha..not giving up and never say die...haha...so looking forward for the ski again....haha....after the ski, bath then went back to singapore and reached around 9 ++ , then headed to vivo for dinner then took MRT back...disturb along the way have much fun, reached home around 11.30 and was damn tired but i promise my fren to meet him at Double O so i bath and rush down to Double O...reached there half dead and in pain but i went in to celebrate with him as he pass his TP..haha..first time seeing him drunk and he surely is funny when he is drunk..haha...supper and played until 3++ then went home...after bath is 4 am~!!! haha..24 hours nv sleep...haha..concuse straight away...

Then sun woke up by my grandmother then rot until evening time we to dinner with my big family...play enjoyed and have fun thru out the dinner...after that went to coffeeshop meet my fren for after Ski chat..haha..then 12++ head home...a tired weekend, painful too as i injured myself and all the muscle ache...but i admit i like it alot and think everything is worth it...haha...i just like to gather with all my brothers and family...haha...trying out new things too..a happy week for me...haha...lastly Hope my inury faster recover then i can go for my run and have a painless and HAPPY Chinese New Year...haha..Stay Happy Everyday everyone...!!!

我想了很久, 有了好多想法但我不知道应该做的决定是什么...有一点迷惘,有一点不知所错...不知道最后选的会是对还是错,但是我希望是对的...因为在有限的人生里,我不希望经历太多错误的选择, 到头来才后悔...因为我很害怕后悔会变成遗憾...然后遗憾就会变成我心里永远的创伤...所以明智的选择是很重要的, 但要如何做出正确的选择就要看个人的经历和经验了...在人的一生里有很多东西没有经历过你是一辈子也不会明白的, 不管是用言语还是动作来解释, 你所能明白的也只是表面上或具体上的领悟, 而不是心里真正感受到的....因此为有用心去体会才能真的了解真正的领悟, 但往往能真的用心体会的人又有几个... 现实往往是残酷的,不管你多么的努力的去维持或保护某个东西...它终究还是不完美的, 因为这就是现实...

好多想法, 但不知该做什么好...

2008-12-29T21:26:00.011+08:00

有人对我说过:"人的一生中可以吃多少, 用多少, 拥有多少都是天注定的..." 我其实很不接受这个道理, 因为我认为人的命运是掌控在自己手里的...人的一生该往哪走, 该如何走都是应该由人自己决定的而不是上天安排的...但事实却又并非如此, 因为人不管选上哪条路走, 只要上天不让你走你就一定走不了...有时侯上天的捉弄让我真的不得不向命运低头...如此的一生让我觉得做人真的很辛苦...要活的精彩当儿又要有意义, 觉得人生可以完美的时候却又被上天否定...好像是做什么都不对, 又或者是说做什么都是没有意义的...真的好辛苦...我不断的想摆脱上天的摆布, 但都没成功过...我明白上天给予我的是很多人没有的, 很多人羡慕的但我真正想要的却不止如此...可能是我贪得无厌, 也可能是我还不够成熟因而想法上有很大的偏差...但我很不甘心一生就被上天摆布着....可是我所能做的却又是如此的微不足道...感叹...我真的很失望...当事物对不起我时, 我应该放弃放手, 还是努力的坚持着呢...我真的不知道该选什么好......被人当成理所当然是我的错吗...我真的错了吗...感叹..!!

该往哪走...

2008-11-10T23:25:00.008+08:00

两个人可以从亿万人群中相遇, 到相识, 到相知, 到相爱, 到最终相守其实是一件非常难得的事...两个人既然可以在一起就应该珍惜对方, 疼爱对方, 相信对方, 关怀对方, 然后彼此互相扶持起走完剩下美好的日子...虽然说的容易做的难, 但我相信只要彼此的心里都深爱着对方没有什么是不可能的...因为在爱情的世界里没有所谓的对与错, 有的只是爱与不爱吧了...虽然说人世间最难说清楚的就是一个情字, 但这不代表所谓的情是很迷惘很乱的...所谓缘起缘灭只在一念之间,如何看待爱情看待对方就要用自己的心来去判断了...佛曰:百年修来同船渡, 千年修得共枕眠...任何美好的东西, 都是需要历经千辛万苦才能得来的, 爱情更是如此...其实我们都曾失去过记忆里最初的爱情,都曾明白有些东西一旦错过就永不可重来...两个人既然可以在一起那为什么又那么轻易的分开呢...情不知所起一往而深, 对于动情太深的人就像生了病一样需要对症下药, 动了情的人往往要找意中人才能够奏效...所以遇到了就应好好的珍惜, 不要让自己留下那么多难以弥补的遗憾...然后孤独终老, 伤心一辈子....

珍惜爱情, 保护爱情...

2008-11-03T21:57:00.011+08:00

it is nearly a month since i blog think here is going to rot..haha...everytime start blogging and my mind went blank..haha...just dont know what to type...haha..everyday is still the same..School then home then weekend drinking...haha..nothing really special...nearly a month and getting more and more use to school life...still able to cope but just find it very boring...haha..nothing fun in the school...lucky last sems le hope it can faster finish cause it really bored me to death...haha...last fri went for halloween night but in the end everywhere was so pack and full house then in the end i ended up at a thai disco at boat quay as my fren is working there...drink not much then decide to change place and went to shenton way Saibai saibai...it was very pack too so didnt stay long then went to clark quay and went to Lunar...order drinks and relax and enjoy the live band...after Lunar went to jalan besar for supper and chat until morning then went home..hahaha..what a tired day...sat wake up rot at home until evening meet alex songhua for dinner then meet the rest to guowen house for the wedding video and photos...have fun at guowen house then went home...then suddenly they called and we went to Beds as friends bday and to find other friends...play until 3am++ then decide to go home as sunday morning going to Pulau Ubin..haha...wake up early and morning the rest then meet and went changi for lunch then head to the terminal for the ferry ride and of we go to Pulau Ubin...haha...but very lucky as once we reach there and we rented the bicycle it started to rain heavily...at first is spoil our mood but we decided to cycle in the rain as not to spoil the fun..haha..cycle played disturb along the cycle...have a alot of fun and took alot of photos...after the 3 hours cycle everyone is tired then we return the bicycle and went for dinner..seafood feasts...haha...order alot and eat alot...then we rush for the ferry back to singapore...as everyone is dirty plus tired all of us headed home...a very fun day for me and everyone hope to have more so organsing to go Sentosa on the next sun..as this sun i will be busy cos i will be going to sit the Singapore Flyer..hahaha...and some of the brothers need to work...after sentosa will ZOO outing...haha...hope can every 2-3 week have a healthy outing..haha..after it is more fun then drinking until vomit...haha...if can every sunday i also wan to occupy myself with outing as it can cut down more drinking alot..haha...plus i can sleep better in the night and somemore slim down...hahaha....most of all can enjoy with my brothers and have alot of fun....haha...then when everyone is happy eveything will be smoother and life will be better...haha...although life is full of up and down but i always hope life can be forever happy...haha...i know i am greedy but who dont right...hahaha...lastly Hope Everyday will be a Wonderful Day for Everyone...

每一个人都有三个自己...一个是别人看到的自己, 一个是自己看到的自己而最后一个就是真正的自己...真正的自己很重要因为他主导了自己的本性和好坏, 一但真正的自己迷失了, 后果就会不堪设想了...但要维护却是一件难事, 因为要寻找真正的自己需要真的很了解自己很清楚自己才做的到...所以能做到如此的也不多, 毕竟人不是万能的...想要找自己就要先看清楚自己, 所以自己看到的自己也是很重要的...因为自己看到的自己是用自己本身的智慧来判断自己所做的一切是否对错是否合理...当智慧断定了对错后, 自己本身就会依照智慧的判断来改变自己或提升自己...而最后改变的就是真正的自己, 所以如何看待自己是会影响真正的自己的...在来就是别人看到的自己...虽然很多人觉得这不重要, 但我觉得别人如何看你, 你自己就会如何看待自己而间接影响了真正的自己...其实我觉得别人如何看待自己是很重要的, 因为这是最能影响到自己的一个方式...因为不管自己想的在好做的在好, 得不到别人的认同和正面的看待自己所做的一切都是没有用的...而这就会间接影响了真正的自己...思想的差距影响了人看待事情的判断能力,因而导致人误会了人, 并影响了人...但其实谁都没错只是思想不同吧了...所以很多时候不是自己想放弃或觉得累, 是因为努力了却看不到成果是一件很伤心很累的一件事...所以做自己难, 做别人眼中的自己更难...因为在别人的眼里, 自己永远都有很多的缺点想改也该不了...做自己都这么难, 那还要如何做个诚挚的人呢...是我的智慧不够高还是我真的很笨........

拯救堕落天使的你到底在那里....

2008-10-07T22:22:00.011+08:00

Since long i blog le...haha...so update now..finally sch has started and i hate it...although the timetable is not that pack or rushing but i hate the subject and the teacher like all not good one..haha..sian...maybe is too long nv study liao then going back still cant manage to use to it...totally boring just going to sch everyday...haha...alot of things happen this few weeks and i experince alot..think alot and understand...still think that i am not that strong yet...being mentally or physically...need more improve more in both aspect until i finally think i am good enough...haha...have alot in mind but when blog time suddenly everything is gone..just duno what to update..haha...last few week busy working...felt happy even it was very tired at least i work with my bros and can have money coming in my wallet...haha...the best thing i manage to cut down my drinking...haha...although to others it might seem not alot but i was glad it is a good start...hope can continue it cos feel that my health is getting worst and worst day by day and busy working i long time never run and train my body le...getting fatter and seem weaker...haha..must not be lazy anymore since sch has started and i must faster find a way to cure my insomia if not i think i am going to get crazy very very soon..haha..duno what to write le..think stopping here...lastly Hope Everyday will be a Wonderful day....

人都是孤独的...在茫茫人海中孤独地行走, 似乎有了方向但似乎又没有, 似乎找到了出口但又似乎一切皆在虚无之间, 一切好像幻影...可是人又不甘寂寞, 他需要别人的认同, 来寻找生命的价值....但人又是自私的...在寻求自我认同的时,往往会践踏别人的自尊, 甚至诋毁和嘲笑他人, 来满足自己存在的价值, 或突显得自己有深度或能力...所以人与人之间的相处是非常难得到共鸣的...因此人与人之间才会有距离, 一个看不见, 听不到, 甚至摸不到的距离...我不明白人为何要如此, 也讨厌人的这种行为...但最让我不明白的是上天为何要把人创造的不完美, 但却又希望人会进化成完美...等到人不能完美时才来惩罚人类...这点真的很让我很不明白...根本就好像把玻璃打碎, 但希望粘好的玻璃不会有裂痕然后可以完美无暇...这根本是不可能的事, 最起码在人的领域这是办不到的...我不能理解也不明白上天的想法, 可能这就是为何, 人永远都要受到上天的摆布吧...我不甘心但我能做的却又不多...真的觉得好累好累...

其实我比谁都还要懦弱...

2008-09-16T01:06:00.009+08:00

Finally got time to blog as i cant sleep...haha...13/09/08 my bro big day..haha..prepare for a very long time and finally the day has came...haha...Wed acc meishan to shop for shirt for the wedding and then meet songhua and weixiong and went for a drink in the end..haha...lucky i bought mine liao..haha...then thur is the bachelor night...haha..meet up at evening as guowen need to acc his wife in the day time...after meeting up went to Beds and drink drank drunk..haha..after drinking we went to Dragonfly to enjoy more..haha...although drink until very tired but think all of us enjoy the night...hahaha...then friday meet up with huilong all and wash cars and prepare the car for tml...acutal plan is went home to rest after the preparing but in the end alot of us didnt get to sleep due to some reason each of the brothers had...haha..so sat morning is so stress and tired while going to fetch the bride...haha...all brothers meet up 6.45 am at guowen house..this time only 1 person is late and tat is TERRY...so big shot..let the bridegroom wait for him...haha...after the bridegroom came down everyone went in the cars and head off to the bride house...17 brothers 8 cars...haha..rain on the way but luckily the rain stop upon reaching...but the timing is too early so we waited and we took photos buy breakfast drinks to replenish ourself...once the timing reach everyone went up make try to open the door...haha..argue play and was disturb by the sister...haha..eat alot of disgusting and stupid food...but what worst was terry as his leg hair was strip off...hahaha...after that we manage to open the door as it wasnt lock...haha...after went in the house we argue again to go into the room...song was sang, ang bao given...in the end guowen pass everything and went in...haha...lovely and touching scene...haha...after fetching colyn everyone went down and discuss who to drive and head back the guowen house...reaching guowen house at the good timing so went up do the chinese ceremony and the tea ceremony...took alot of photos , chit chat and disturb alot...haha..after that due to timing restrain everyone faster went down up the car and went to colyn house...the couple went up for the tea ceremony while mostly brothers waited downstair...after everythings is done we went to seletar dam to took photos then wentback guowen house for the buffet...stay until 1pm ++ until everyone is so tired so almost everyone went back to prepare and me huilong kewei zhixiong ah bee monyet went to wach the cars below my house so to return to the owner...wash until 2 ++ then meet then 3.30 to move off to the Hotel...reach the hotel went to the room then some went to rest some went to help guowen for the arranging of the table...busy until 6++ then rest awhile and guest start to came in early....arrrange the guest everything until 8++ then the dinner started....luckily not much guest force to drink...so around 10++ the dinner ended...after sending the guest we enjoy ourself in the hotel ballroom...haha....until 11++ then everything is settle...then we decided on where to go...haha...initial was planning for Kbox as everyone can go..but not much ppl agreed so in the end we went to Dragonfly...haha...but Dragonfly was too pack so we shifted to Powerhouse...again drink drank drunk...haha..although everyone is very very tired but think everyone enjoyed the night...haha...went home at 4am++...damn tired and sleep straight away...haha..after so many days preparation the wedding took place and finally is came to an end smoothly and happily...although in between there is cock up here and there but alot was able to solve it...everyone seem to enjoy the night alot...to see 1 of our brothers married is a nice and happy thing...although is busy and tiring but think everything is worth it...haha...now waiting for the next brothers to get marry...haha..dont know who will be the next...hahaha...Lastly Hope everyone is Happy everyday and Enjoy their life....

祝这对新人互结同心、白头偕老...

Wish this Newly Wedded Couple Happily Ever After....

2008-08-19T21:48:00.010+08:00

Finally i on my com at home..haha..since duno how many week i never on it le...haha..the best part is that my FYP is finally over le...never never gonna to go back that room again...haha..so happy and finally can have some good sleep...felt so relax and now having holidays...after nearly a year i finally have holidays and it is quite long too...this holiday i got alot of do...find a part time job if possible...train for my marathon which run on 31 aug...help guowen to deliever the bridal gift on sept 1 and lastly help him out on his wedding day..haha...should be alot to do and look forward for the day as al brothers can gather together again and drink and play and feel happy for guowen..haha..it should be a happy and havoc night...hahaha...life is still the same nothing else special even after FYP...only today went back to sch for some duno what photo taking session...haha...totally no idea what the photo will be use for... but no choice as is my supervisor request one and i dare not reject her...haha...scare my FYP grade no good ar..haha..other than that nothing much changed...every weekend still the same...drink drink drink...haha...like nothing else to do anymore le...other than drinking i really duno what to do at weekends and like everyone will called me on weekend to drink...haha...wan to cut down also hard ar...hahaha....life still the same like abit boring but what to do...since i use to it le so it should ok ba...haha...there is so many event waiting for me this holiday think i must work hard to work on the event and make it memorable one and try to do more...haha...lastly Hope Everyday Will Be A Wonderful Day For Me, My Family and My Brothers and Friends...hahahaha...

终于把心里的一颗大石给放下了, 感觉很轻松很自在...虽然放下了但这也就代表又会有新的挑战来临, 但在来临之前我一定要好好的准备然后克服所有的挑战并一一击败它...不会在让自己轻易的失败或放弃, 并且要用一份坚定的心和信念来维持着....所谓孟子有云 : 天将降大任于是人也, 必先苦其心志, 劳其筋骨, 饿其体肤, 空乏其身, 行拂乱其所为, 所以动心忍性, 增益其所不能...我明白虽然要做到如此不是一朝一夕的也没那么容易, 但我会尽心尽力的去做并且达到能被托付大任的人...但这也就代表了我还有很多要学习要进步的地方, 因为毕竟我也不完美...本身拥有的缺点还是有很多, 要一一改进需要很长的时间和很长的磨练...所以在我还没达到目标之前我都不能放弃不能倒下, 要勇往直前的前进并让我的一生不会留下太多的后悔或遗憾...我想这就是我的人生之道吧.....
人与人之间在于一个"诚"字, 没有了"诚"就不会有包容和谅解...那没有了这两样又何有知己呢...可悲...心事,烦恼,不愉快我何尝又没有呢....感叹....

Moving on or Staying on the spot....

2008-07-26T12:12:00.013+08:00

finally i free to blog...haha...actually i was not so busy either just that everyday went home after school i don't feel like using com anymore...haha...everyday is still the same routine...go school then go home...nothing special at all..recently i heard i good news from 1 of my bro...although it shocked me but i am happy for him...haha...seem that he will be stress for the following months but hope he can be happy always and all the best for him...haha...last 2 week went to The Boiler room with campmate...enjoyed both clubbing outing maybe due to i long time never club...haha...but what make my days worst is now i am waiting to be activiate by SAF...haha...having mobilisation now...so sian loh...like waiting to die like tat...if activiated i need to go back camp duno do what shit...hope it wont activiate ar..please pray for me...ahahaha...i very look forward for aug cos 15 aug my FYP will end...haha...finally it ended cause it really boring and troublesome...haha...then 31 aug i going for a 10Km marathon by Nike....haha..first time in my life i ownself wan to run for marathon...haha..so it should be exicted..haha..after aug will be my bro big day...haha...hope everything will go smooth that day....haha...and enjoy the day alot...hahahaha....so happy for him...although i will lack of 1 bro to go out anymore...haha...

seeing him live happy should be the best thing he give back us brothers...hahaha....feeling moody this few days as i heard and find out alot of things which i dun wan to know and find out...but in the end i do find out...but wat to do...i really need to be mature and know what to do this time...maybe i too soft hearted...everytime i give in but this time i must not...i cannot like this anymore...i knew it from the start and brothers all saying me...maybe now is the time...Really Hope Everything will be like the old days...the Happy Me...The Happy Days....

maybe you duno but you really disappointed me this time...

我最讨厌骗人但更讨厌人骗我, 尤其是身边的人...因为一句小小的谎言就可以造成很大的伤害...也许说的人很轻松但听的人发现真相时, 却是多么痛心多么失望...所以我尽量很少骗人, 但我也不否认我也曾经骗过人因为毕竟没有人是完美的...但只要我可以我一定不会骗人, 尤其是身边的人...因为我知道这会带给他/她无比的痛心, 因为我毁灭了他/她对我的信任....其实人与人之间最基本的但却长长被遗忘的就是个"诚"...当人说出谎言时, 人都万万没想到一句言语上的伤害竟会是多么大, 尤其是对身边的人那种伤害会更大...谎言会使人彻底的失望因为当你全心全意去相信人时, 他/她却在你的心里狠狠的刺上一刀...那种痛是完全没有办法用言语来形容的, 不曾体会你永远也不知道那痛的辛苦...其实我想人都应该经历过这种痛, 只是每个人的痛都不一样...但被身边的人欺骗的那种痛是更痛的,因为里面包含了爱与关怀也一起被背叛了....被骗明明会那么痛,每个人都知道...那么为何还要骗人呢.....But i never expected that you would lie to me...maybe i was too naive too stupid...you took my care and concern for granted...

我已经分不清楚什么是开心什么是伤心...

2008-07-08T13:19:00.007+08:00

Finally i found time to blog le...haha...was very busy with FYP everyday use the com whole day until i reach home i also dun wish to on my com..haha...alot of things happen this few weeks..too much to said...so i decided to keep it in my heart...haha...first thing first...i finally treat the Da Ben Zhu her bird nest...haha...think she wont haunt me again in short period...haha...last week was a busy and tiring one...mon after sch went for a run then met meishan to acc him to drink cos keep rejecting him i felt very paiseh..hahaha...tat day played until 5am in the morning and i 7am need to wake up for sch...no need been thru also can imagine how tired and stress i am the next day...haha...keep doze off in the lab...luckily i manage to endure i reach home then took a nap, had dinner then slp again...haha...wed after sch i tot can have a nice rest..who know wenliang called and something unpleasant happen so i met and acc him to drink together with monyet...drink until 3am++ went home slp abit then 7am went sch..haha..also very tired...think will die very soon if keep like tat...haha...then thur rest after sch...fri after sch went for a run..then ben ben called...acutally tot she wan go Beds but i misunderstand it...so i went still with zhixiong...drink drank drunk and ate alot...haha...and bought mango pudding for the gluttonous ghost...haha..watch her eat until so happy i know is worth it...haha...then sat wake up early and wait for xiaoshi to called and went to her house to help her with her chalet stuff and the silly girl cried due to something...haha..how silly of her...bday still cired...haha...went chalet did alot then wait for everyone came then after xiaoshi celebrate her bday we went to buy cakes for monyet cos is his bday too...haha..buy alot of beer too...eat drink play...until quite late then everyone went home...sun wake up wait for huilong then went to chalet again...went for lunch and on the way disturb alot alot of ppls...haha..since long we a group come out to disturb ppl..although is not good but is very very fun...hahaha...acutally wan go wild wild wet but due to the timing we cancel it..want rent bike but also too late...so we pack everything and went to east coast to cycle..hahaha...since long i really cycle liao...quite fun..haha... while huilong and songhua rent inline skate...and the whole ride we keep waiting for songhua cos he really cannot make it la...whahaha...but in the endthink everyone enjoy it...haha...had a great weekend...it make me throw away all my troubles away and enjoy myself...i just love meeting my brothers and enjoy with them...but now everyone had grow up so everyone is busy working so got less time to gather...but nvm i will try to organise a gathering real soon...haha...the best is i finally finish my FYP project which i intially tot is impossible to complete...haha...now a new task is given...but i totally not scare at all le...haha...wat bother me is not sch stuff anymore and i am glad abt it...i think i should reformat my brain and start fresh abt thing around me...so disappointed in things...hai...but no matter what had happen life still goes on and I am glad i got my family and brothers to support me....haha..Hope Everyday Will Be A Wonderful Day....you never know how much you had disappoint me....
可能是我对每件事每个人都有所期望, 所以才会渐渐的对每样事物感到失望包括我自己在内...虽然我很明白人是没有十全十美的, 对于人不应该期望的太高但毕竟我也是人我也不完美...在某种人的心态上人对人有期望其实是很正常的...但期望会不会达成是因人而异的绝对没有一定, 所以有时做人还是看开点会好一些吧...因为失望久了你就会渐渐得不敢对任何事物在抱有期望, 渐渐的对任何事物都感到失望...包括我自己在内...有时候我真的很恨我自己很讨厌我自己, 很恨我自己的无知很讨厌我自己的无能...很恨我自己的不成熟很讨厌自己的不自律...我明明知道这些缺点但我却什么也改变不了,什么也做不倒...觉得自己很失败, 连自己都无法实现自己对自己的期望, 那为何还会希望别人能实现我对他/她的期望呢...也许我最失望的就是我自己吧...

so disappointed..but Life still goes on...

2008-06-11T21:27:00.004+08:00

突然下起了一场大雨, 独自坐在房里的我看着雨一滴一滴的落下...忽然间觉得好孤独好寂寞, 身旁好象少了什么...原来是少了情,少了爱...少了一个你的存在...其实我知道在世界的某一个角落你就在那里...在那里等着我们的相遇, 然后从相遇到相识到相知到相爱, 然后一起牵着手走完剩下的日子为彼此留下最美好的回忆...但此时此刻的我却看不到缘份的到来, 独自一人期盼着无形的你可以紧紧的拥抱我, 让我感受到爱的幸福...我知道这是个愚昧的想法, 因为无形的你不曾存在过...存在的是冰冷的空气环绕着我, 拥抱着我...存在的是孤独陪伴着我, 但存在的却不是你......你到地在那里...为何舍得让我一个人独自的等着你, 过着没有你的日子...难道我们的缘份就该如此艰辛....其实我很不服但我没办法去改变命运...你可知道, 等待着缘份让我遇上你真的好寂寞好漫长.......

无形的你到地在那里.....

2008-06-02T22:11:00.005+08:00

finally came to blog as not that tired and people around are nagging...haha...didnt did much last week...FYP started...mon to fri everyday went sch do my stupid project and it is really a stupid one...cause even my teacher also duno how to do but ask me to do...stupid right...haha....rot everyday until sat morning wake up and meet zhixiong skinny victoria and weixiong to town...went far east for lunch at a korean resturant then head to party world at orchard...but dont know why the whole KTV system spoil...then we change to Kbox ar cineleisure..sing play until 6++ then head to wisma for dinner and i fed a dinosaur her dinner...haha...just kidding....after dinner acutally wanted to watch movie but in the end all the cinema no tickets for the show we wanted so we starbuck to chat and relax...after that send them to MRT then i and weixiong head to chinatown cause i already promise i will meet him cause he whole day alone at town...went crazyhour for drink together with shaowei and ah ping..played drink disturb...haha..chatted alot....after that went for supper then head home...sunday rot at home evening meet alex for dinner then went home rest....today Project again and it is killing me..2 week only i cant stand liao duno how to survive for 3 months...hahaha...stupid project stupid teacher stupid lab asstisant...hahaha...Hope the FYP faster finish i rather study...haha...Hope everyday is a nice day....

在爱情的世界里没有所谓的对错, 没有一定要做的事也没有一定不能做的事....如何选择就要看个人的处事方式和道德观念...其实每个人心中都有一把尺, 一把拿来衡量对与错的尺...而每一个人的衡量标准也不一样, 有的觉得是对但有的却觉得是错, 每一个人对于对错的观点都不一样所以衡量的标准也不一样...事情的对错往往都不能轻易的就下定论, 在还没弄清楚一切之前千万不要以自己的尺来衡量对错然后就判断事情的结果, 因为不到最后一刻没有人会知道真正的对与错...千万不要一失足成千古恨, 后来发现后悔了一切就来不急了...爱情也是如此, 事情往往难以捉摸, 难以分辨是非对错, 千万不要一时之气而乱下定论最后造成了无法弥补的过错, 然而伤害了彼此...因为到头来心痛的还是自己...自古以来情义就两难全, 鱼与熊掌的故事也听多了...到最后如何取舍就要看个人心里那把尺衡量的标准, 是对是错没有人可以批评或责怪...因为你不是那个人, 你根本不明白他在想什么...但我觉得那个人的心里也不好受吧......

I'm not a SPORT CAR and I not a FISH....

2008-05-22T13:23:00.010+08:00

Here i blog ok weixiong..dont chant...haha...dont know why everytime want to blog my mind become blank and dont know wat to type..haha..blog about last week...Fri evening went for run with monyet then night time songhua suddenly called and we went down boat quay to accompany jolynn cause she is unhappy...xianbin came along later then fuxing and zhaocheng came..went into the pub drink and relax..after that went to chinatown for supper then head home...Sat meet campmate around alte afternoon then went to take letter from a friend friend then went dinner then relax at coffee bean...acutally was planned to meet songhua monyet out for drinks or something one..but in the end all busy acc gf or never come out...then my campmate going geylang and i dun wan to go..so was alone...thinking too early to head home i went to Beds..haha..order 2 bottle of red wines that night and drink all by myself..haha...like the taste so much and find it rather relax drinking red wine...haha...then a silly human being called and cry and cry...console and give advice then went back to drink my wine...dont be silly more ok...things are not that bad...hahaha...after that went home with wenliang and skinny...haha..sunday early morning was wake up by father to help out him...then rot at home until evening time meet weixiong for dinner then went back change and meet and went to Beds to celebrate his 24 birthday plus last day of Beds..haha..reach there order martell and we 2 drink and chat..then 1 by 1 the rest came...take out the cake wishes blow candle finish but in the end the cake was wasted..hahaha...cos others was play the spray foam..so with the cut i duno who draw one on the wallpaper then we cut it out and sign for him as a present..haha..hope he like it although dont worth a cent..hahaa...hope he enjoy the night too...whole night was disturbing ppl and was disturb by songhua and zhixiong...wahaha...damn jialat...they were the first to start then in the end everyone did the same...haha...and it continue until today...haha...then we drew the whole pub with pictures and wording..haha..quite fun...then we went for supper then head home...actually mon got other actitvies one but no choice i got family dinner..haha..sorry...morning wake up help father again then rot for a while then went to my brother new house..nice decoration and very comfortable to stay in..haha..then have reunion dinner with family...since long we had sit down whole family have dinner...everyone always busy one..esp father and mother..after CNY this is the 2nd time..haha..although not great food but the atmomsphere is nice and warming...haha..chatting and watching movie...after that head home...rest and tue work again and same routine continue until today...so boring..haha...this week wat activitives i also not sure...haha..Hope everyday can be happy and fun...haha...

以前我很讨厌看报纸, 不是我不喜欢阅读, 只是我不喜欢一大清早睡醒就从报纸上读到世界各地有天灾人祸吧了...一睡醒就读到这里有火灾, 那里有水灾还是地震, 一天的心情就会不好...还有杀人, 自杀, 抢劫, 强奸, 争权夺利之类的新闻读了就让我觉的世间有多么丑陋...所以很讨厌看报纸, 因为它会破坏我一天的心情...让我觉得世间上还有这么多的丑陋和灾害, 但是没有人包括神在做事情来弥补或拯救这世界....但随着年龄的增长我读的报纸是越来越多, 不管是英文报, 华文报只要是我读得懂的我都会拿来读...不是我变的喜欢读报纸, 而是读报纸后的心情和感触不一样了...现在的我读完报纸后, 我会觉得自己非常幸福非常幸运...因为我生长在一个没有天灾的地方, 而我身边的人也没有为了争权夺利而自相残杀, 也没有自杀或被抢劫强奸的....所以我应该是很幸福的才对....起码比起报纸上千千万万的人我是幸福的...因为我有一个完整的家和一帮很好的兄弟支持着我....也不愁吃不愁穿, 身体也四枝健全还健康的很...哈哈...所以从那一个角度看我都是幸福的...哈哈...所以读了报纸可以让我觉得很幸福很开心哪为何不读呢...哈哈...所以就渐渐的越读越多报纸...哈哈...其实人只要肯放下执着, 万事随缘一切就会好多了...最起码人祸就减少了很多很多, 世间的丑陋就会消失很多, 而世间就会更美好了...至于天灾就让老天来做判断吧, 世人也没办法主宰...其实我很深信着"生死有命, 富贵在天"....一个人吃多少用多少都是天注定的, 所以凡事还莫强求, 一切随缘吧.....

Hope Of Light...

But why always give me Hope when Hope always don't fulfil...

2008-05-12T14:21:00.022+08:00

suddenly feel like blogging and so i did...have a nice weekend and it ended up good..haha...fri took off and meet campmate early afternoon and went to vivo for a stroll...after that meet monyet after his sch then went around town for a walk...then my shoe give up on me so no choice
i had to buy a new one...and i like the new shoe very much...
haha...although it is quite expensive...haha..after roam around town until evening time went alley bar to relax and chat...when was abt to goes off meishan came to meet me and we went M.sultan..deciding where to go we ended up at Beds...drink and drink again...haha...saw some of my frens there too..drink with them and chat alot...then zhixiong came...fool around until it closed then they went for supper and i tag alot for drinks...sat rot at home..acutally is got something on one but it was cancel due to something..u know right...wahaha...then rot until evening time meet zhaocheng youjing and went to boat quay...since long nv go that place le...but nothing much changes...haha...went to eat roti plata and it sucks...change boss le and the standard drop to the worst...haha...then songhua came and we ended up at one of the KTV pub...at first was not bad but later on more and more crowds came in the place became noisy..haha..but we just enjoy ourself and fuck care the others...haha...when we are about to go...a fight occurs...2 grp of ah beng fight and make a mess of the place...i and songhua keep discussing abt it and my fren is worst he kana a barrel of tiger beer on his t shirt..wahaha..he keep kbkb but no choice...haha...then we change place to other pub as our frens are there too...haha...drink again played pool then zhixiong and sheenin came awhile...then head home around 5am++...enjoy the night...relax drinking and chatting...haha...then sunday rot at home the whole day....today work again...so boring..hope can go back sch soon then maybe got more things to do...haha.....everything in my hearts had settled already...finally i decided something...haha...finally i learn to give up and accept it...have to start everything fresh again...haha...Hope everything will be nice and happy....haha...
you never never know how much you had hurt me...
其实人世间最难说清楚的就是一个情字, 情不知所起一往而深, 对于动情太深的人就像生了病一样需要对症下药, 动了情的人往往要找意中人才能够奏效...缘起缘灭其实只在一念只间, 所谓谋事在人成事在天, 有时候很多事情不是你想要就会成功的...有时还要看看老天肯不肯给你这个机会, 还是肯不肯成全你....过于强求换会的可能只是痛苦....适当的退后和放弃或许会让事情有更美好的结果和结局...虽然会不开心但是这永远就是不变的道理....而且我很深信着....其实人可以开心, 不是不可以不开心只是为到伤心处....所以做人开心一些会活的更好吧...

Lost of direction...Left Or Right...

2008-05-04T22:28:00.007+08:00

nothing to do so come to blog..got alot to say but just duno how to say out...nothing much happen this few days...last fri met frens went for drinks and chat alot..then sat went dinner with family for mother's day dinner..the cafe we go sucks..service not good..small portion and very expensive..haha...think wont go back that cafe anymore...haha...then evening went to meet Poly schoolmate and went to DBL O...reach there early so i went to Beds to find wenliang and discuss about something important..luckily nothing happen and everything ws solve...haha..after went DBL O...quite crowded that day..drank alot too as my campmate came and we order alot of drinks...played and enjoyed the night...sunday wake up and rot until night...so tired...haha..play until tired...and not feeling right too..quite moody..so rather stay at home then going out...days still pass on the same..boring..luckily attachment is finishing soon..so boring loh....hope FYP will be better as in sch there is much more to do and fren to accompany...haha...

think throught this few days le..finally able to understand and decided to accept it...although this is not what i really wanted and wish for...but sometime i know there is no choice for me to choose...after so long i know this time i am not sensetive...i really felt it this way...just that you duno and not i never tell you before...is you always joke or not serious with it...you never spare a thought of my feeling before...you just do what you wan and ignore my feeling...you dont know sometime you hurt me..maybe you never realise or maybe is my fault i never tell you...i dont know...but to other it is not like this...dont say i wan to compare or i compare...i never wan to compare...but it is you who compare without yourself realising...you weight me and others in your heart but you dont know...even thought i told you before...you say it is me sensetive..but it is not..this is how i feel...if you never how will i felt this way right...you just never wrong before..alway i let you win let you whine...then all become my fault even is you did wrong and deny it...i just treat you too good sometime you just take me for granted..maybe you dont realise...but i am sure it is...you are always my priority but i am always an option to you...maybe is you know that i will never walk away thats why you treat me like this...not appreciated...for granted...i dont know...many tell me is a mistake but i just dont care..i just do what i think is right...but now i dont what had done..whether it is right or not..confused..scared...disappointed..and you never do what you had said to me...you just forget it or maybe you just want to quickly bring it over..i duno..i really duno...maybe i'm not important in your heart and i stand no where...but please spare a thought for my feeling...in the end i still a human too...i do have feeling....so disappointed...maybe you think you did alot for me maybe a sms a short call you think is alot...i duno why...but to me it is nothing compare to what i had done i had scarifice...you just dont know cos i never told you before...not that i want or need a repay..but not like taken me for granted ma...this is not what i really want to see and wish for...but i am tired of thinking it already..cos you never care...you think you do but the fact is that you never...at least this is how i feel...you know how much cherish it but it seem that it is not enough for only me to cherish it and care about it...a clap need 2 hands...hai.....you never know how much you have hurt me...so disappointed in you...
人的生命就好象烟花,还没点燃时是那么的平平无奇,但当被点燃时,火花亮起的那瞬间是那么的美丽,但好景不长在,随随着它慢慢的燃烧,美丽的东西也有终结的一天...当花火烧完后,剩下的也只有又黑又臭的一根棒子....

Lost in the Maze...

2008-04-21T21:25:00.003+08:00

haha...finally got time to blog so came to blog...haha..althought i was not very busy but i duno wat to blog so i keep draging it..haha..by the way i promise someone tat this entries have to be a happy one...haha...i got blog happy ok..haha...last week same old routine work home work home..until fri after work went to meet campmate for singing session then after tat went boat quay meet monyet songhua and zhixiong...the pub we went totally sucks...atmosphere sucks waiteress sucks the worst of all is the drinks also sucks...the martell is from correct country one but the got a funy taste and totally not thick one...haha...if i not wrong the martell is expiry one and yet the boss dare to sell it...totally ban that pub never going to step into it again..hahaha...after went for supper then went home...wat worst is that next day moring 9am was wake up by my father to help him cause my mum went medical checkup...wah lau..5am++ sleep 9am wake up...damn stress ar..haha...but no choice my mum checkup important...haha...after helping father cannot sleep liao...haha..then rot until 3++ meet monyet and went to his girlfriend bday celebration at bishan park...after that went together with the bday girl and her frens and went to Beds...drink drank drunk..haha...saw alot of familiar faces...chat some drink with some...haha...and can confirm the martell there is hell lots better than the boat quay one...wahaha...went home around 3++ then slept...sunday rest at home until evening time meet kewei xiaoshi huiling songhua monyet fuxing jolynn shaowei for dinner...chat disturb alot...haha..very long time never eat together le...after that then went for some desert then head home...cos today need to work..so boring...hahaha..but manage to survive...haha....this week nothing much...dun have event..only wed need to go support meishan pool competion at Beds..so anyone reading can come support meishan...wahaha...arbo very pityful no one support him...haha....feeling much better now a day...althought still cant really sleep at night but feel much better le...decided alot of things so must do it...cannot be weak anymore...must be more firm...haha...lastly i was haunted for blood nest by a silly girl...haha..can anyone help me..?? i am indebt...wahaha...Hope to have a better and nicer day....

佛家有伝: 放下执着, 万事随缘, 让因果自作定论...这句话听是简单, 但要做到还真是不容易...虽然有缘无缘可能全在一念之间, 但是能真正做到随缘而安, 随遇而安却需要不断的修炼...这也不是普通人所能要炼到就炼到的...其实每一样东西或每一件事情都有好与坏的区别, 是好还是坏就要看个人的想法了...所谓一念天堂, 一念地狱, 其实事情的好坏只在于一念之差吧了...所以有时做人还是不要那么执着比较好吧...打个比方说: 茶杯是杯, 酒杯也杯...茶杯可以用来喝酒而酒杯也可以用来喝茶,当你找不到想要用的杯时其实选择还是有的...所以有时做人不必那么的执着, 我想日子会更好过的一些...而人也会快乐一些吧...虽然想做到如此一点都不简单, 但我相信只要有心应该就没那么难了吧....

Hold my hand and bring me to the wonderland...

2008-04-10T21:22:00.007+08:00

Actually dont intend to blog...but suddenly feel like typing out things...suddenly dont feel so good...so i blog...yst went to 101 with weixiong songhua monyet zhixiong skinny to find meishan and we had supper and drinks...we total 5 person drank 16 bottle of beer..haha...this crazy weixiong keep dun wan to go and wan to drink...so had to accompany him...after tat went home..couldnt slp again...hai..until 3++ then finally slept..then morning went to work...this few days life really sucks...every night also cannot sleep..duno why also...no matter how tired also cannot sleep...think going to die very soon if continue like tat...hai...sometime i really duno why...duno why the more i continue it the more i found out..the more sad i am...i admit everything is a mistake...i myself didnt knew it too...but until when i realise i know everything is too late le...i sure die hard this time...but i just cant control it and continue it...hai...maybe is i too care about it le..maybe actually it is nothing big deal abt it...it is all the wihle me who care much...hai...i felt very very tired le...i duno why...maybe i am too greedy sometime...maybe i like to compare...maybe i am petty...maybe i think too much...i really duno....there are just too much maybe until i dont even know what the fuck i am thinking...i just dont feel right...no matter how much i did is always cant compare to wat others did once...not appreciated...always taken for granted...or maybe i am startign to become a burden to you...i duno...but you dont know how much you have hurt me once and once...you never stand in my shoe before...never spare a though for my feeling...maybe i not the one you need or trust...i duno why...but please at least think of my feeling...i'm a human too...i do have feeling...i do feel pain...i do get hurt...i know everything start from me..my nistake..but this is not what i really want to...hai...maybe i just not mature enough to see everything and to understand it...hai...i really duno wat to do...really just hope everything can be fine again...you never care before how i feel...maybe to you i just not important enough...
在人的心里每一个人都有一个价值, 有的轻有的重,几乎没有一个人是一样的...比较轻的那个不管做了多少事情来帮你, 取悦你, 关心你, 甚至担心你, 都比不过那个比较重的人所做的一件事, 一件可以是很小的事情或根本不重要的事...人就是往往会在心里比较...做的多还是少根本不重要, 重要的是你在那个人的心里的价值到地有多少...你可以什么也不做但那个人就会觉的你很好, 很重要...反而你做一百件一千件都好, 只要在他的心里你的价值不够高到头来也是一场空...人就是如此...喜欢衡量别人的价值然后在自己的心里判断这个人的轻重...不明白人为何会如此, 但明白假如人没有去衡量别人在自己心里的价值的话, 这世上就没有所谓重要的人和所谓的陌生人了....我讨厌被衡量但却没有办法摆脱世事的事实....轻重与否真的不是我所能控制的...只希望真心对人, 人也会真心对我....
那我在你心里是轻还是是重...? 心碎心痛有谁懂.... endless road...

2008-04-02T22:37:00.010+08:00

last fri went dragonfly with monyet songhua meishan and zhaocheng...a fun night..haha..enjoy it alot..didnt order alot but duno why got felt drank alot..haha...after then went jalan besar for dinner then head home... then sat meet songhua and went to boat quay for a walk and in the end ended up in a pub drinking red wine..haha..so long never drink le..more and more like the taste of red wine..haha..after tat monyet meishan came and we went for supper then head home...sun went to pray ah gong then afternoon went Lim chu kang pray wai po tehn went coffeeshop find songhua and skinny...after tat went home and slack..haha...

yesterday after work went meet xiong monyet meishan then went for dinner and wait for songhua and the rest then went to Beds to celebrate zhixiong bday...drank 2 bottle of tua pao..haha...in the end he drunk until siao and went home..haha..left us finish everything then went home too...then today work damn shag...haha..lucky i survive it..haha...but enjoy the night...haha...

maybe i'm not the one you need and trust...atleast this is how i felt..i duno why..maybe i really not the one you trust...hai..maybe i think too much..maybe i'm not...maybe i am just too sensetive...i duno...but the way you react and show me i feel that i was taken for granted...maybe you duno and not purposely but you duno that it hurts me alot...very disappointed...maybe i really not the one you needed...maybe just an option to you everytime...i duno...i really duno why it became like this...maybe is my fault..everything is my fault...maybe...you never how much you hurt me time to time...i never say but that doesnt mean it is not pain it is just that i wish to keep it to myself cause i know once said things will never be the same anymore...i am scare of this too..in the end i'm actually still a human..i do have feeling...maybe you never notice but it really hurts everytime you like this...maybe i'm too petty sometime i tend to remember alot of things...esp yours...i never fail to do wat i promise you but your promise always bounce back...hai...i think i am thinking too much le...everything is a wrong from the start..i knew it but i just let it continue because i cant control it also...everyone told me that goods one doesnt last doesnt pay but i just cant be the bad one...esp to you...taken for granted or not sometime i really dont care but please spare a though for my feeling sometime...i'm still a human with feelings....hai...never felt appreciated before even though i dont really mind it...maybe i just wan to be recongise and a small appreciation can make me feel better and good...maybe i not the one you really need but i do help..and can help...hai....sometime i really duno why am i doing those things...thinking tat where do i stand in your heart...maybe i just not so important to you ba...hai...so much maybe in the end...i really duno wat to do...so tired..so restless..so helpless...so painful...hai...how i wish i can forget everything...but i know i cant...hai...

我猜不透人的心里究竟要的是什么,想的究竟是什么...我想我这辈子都应该猜不透吧...人心难测...希望不要去想就会好一点吧...我想说但我又害怕,我怕说了也没有用...现在我做的一切,都只是掩饰着心痛和我的难过...我真的很想学会自我催眠,这样一来痛觉会少一些...那么我就不会睡不着而感到心烦,感到幸苦....心有点倦了,长夜苦涩难熬...时间几乎停止了,停止了我的思考能力使到我不管做什么都不对...好累...好累...
信任是人与人之间最基本而且必须拥有的条件, 但也是往往最缺少的一种...人生最基本但却最容易忘记的...我想其中之一就是信任吧......

Devil cries too...

2008-03-24T22:36:00.005+08:00

just went for a run with monyet and did alot of statics exercise...haha..hope can run 3 time every week...like tat then can slim down more..haha..and can run away all my trouble and problem...then at night will be tired until cannot think then fell asleep...haha...sleepless night really can kills...haha..hais...last fri went out with campmate to discuss something then watch a movie then went to Beds to drink...meet songhua monyet meishan...never drink much as was not totally recover yet and something else which bothering me...then going home time found out something which make me very angry...and make me feel likehai..felt disappotined too...but it is over le and i promise not to say again le...so let it be...then sat wait up then noon time went to gugu house for family gathering...ate play slack until night then went home...stay at home whole night...sunday rot until late afternoon then meet monyet and went to find meishan for dinner...then head back home as monday need to work and there is no one else coming out...duno why this few days doesnt seem very smooth..alot of thing just came down to me...hais...i duno..i really dunno...i admit i over worry and to over sometime...but i really mean well and really come from my heart...even you dont appreciate or took me for granted i also dun care...i just want you to be good...happy...safe...but i really didnt know it will be a stress to you...and stress u so much...maybe i am wrong...maybe i am really too over...i duno...maybe is because when i was young i wish for someone like that to worry and care for me...someone who can protect me....but there isnt...when young i only felt brothers are the best to me...and i only have my brothers...thats why i walk the wrong path...but now brothers all are back to the right path and i glad they lead me back...and i found family is there for me...but is quite late le...although i try to change but somehow i cant totally walk on the right path...but it is fine to me...i admit everything...i ended up wat i am now but i never regret it...although did wrong things...so that why now i can i wish for the best and try to be the one to lead people to the right path...i care for people...i worry for you...but maybe i am too over sometime ba...i got no limit...maybe i got wrong ba...my brother also told me so but i still stubborn wan to continue...hais....but now i know everything le...i understand everything le...i need to control how i give and take...learn to control it well...and not become a stress to people again...hais...think i need to be more mature le...hais...but dont worry...i will always still be there for you no matter...i promise...Really Hope Everything Can Went Smoothly Without A Hitch...hais...so disappotined...no matter how much i do it is always the same...hais..whatdo i do to deserve this..hais...
走过岁月我才发现世界多不完美, 成功或失败都有一些错觉, 生命开始了情不情愿都要过完一生, 谁没受过伤, 谁没流过泪....我不断失望,不断希望........

Kill Me If You Can't Save Me...

2008-03-20T07:18:00.007+08:00

come to blog as was sick and on Mc for these 2 days and because of cant really sleep in the night...now is morining 7.22am..haha..sick but cannot sleep..so funny right...haha..and no need to report to work also....a boring week i had..never did much thing this few days...last sat went to Beds to find wenliang awhile then after tat went Mos to celebrate Fat cat birthday...drink quite alot but was still fine...disturb alot of ppl and play alot with them...went home bath and cant sleep..sunday evening time meet monyet for dinner then saw kewei and shaowei...chat awhile then we went play bowling and fuyuan came alot later...haha..did alot of stupid thing as duno how many yrs never play bowling le...haha...went home and cant sleep again...sian..duno why keep cant fall to sleep...being like this quite a long time le...really very tired also cant slp...maybe due to this tat why i got sick...got very heavy flu and headach...the headach is the worst...pain until my whole left eye also pain...pain until cannot open sometime and pain until wanted to vomit...nv experience this before...damn jialat and uncomfortable...hai....and when sick tend to have a weaker mindset...tend to think alot and anyhow think cos maybe got alot of free time ba...somemore i cannot sleep...got more time...hai....thinking that sick i might able to rest more and well but i was wrong....worst...more cannot sleep....hai...really is sick and tired ar...sometime just wan to find someone to acc and rely on....alone in the bed really is boring...think thru alot of things...find out that maybe i wasnt mature enough...all the while i was too childish le..and it is time for me to change le...have to be more mature le...although now mind is weak...but after i recover i will have my strong mind back and everything will be fine le...and i think alot this few days...so maybe can improve myself...getting sick will also make ppl feel negative...maybe sometime is i pin too much hope on something le...and everytime i fell hard...maybe i am too greedy i duno...i just trying to be positive...but everytime it turn out the other ways...even when i am sick....maybe sometime i really pin too much hope on thing and ppl sometime.....hai...not i wish to think negatively....but i really duno ar...hai...maybe i do have a weak mind now...and i really hate getting sick...Hope to recover soon and NEVER get sick again....finding someone to rely on sometime is really so hard...so disappointed...

每个人的心里都有一个衡量器和衡量的标准...这个衡量器每一个人的都不一样, 衡量的标准也不一样...人们都拿来衡量很多东西, 比如大小, 东西的好坏, 事情严重性, 某人的价值, 现有的立场, 对某人的感情, 某人的重要性, 等等等....每一个人自己都有自己的一个标准而且也都不一样, 所以要找到一个一样的可以说是没有可能...但几乎接近的我想还是有的吧...只是你有没有找到吧了....人的一身大多数的都是在寻找一个这样的人...这人也多办也是你的知己, 好兄弟, 或半伴侣...虽然寻找的过程很艰辛很不如意, 但人往往都不会放弃...这就是人衡量后所做出的决定, 一个很坚定的决定...也是人可以最付出的决定....即使自己在对方的心里没有价值,或没被重视....但人还是会不放弃的去坚持这份信念, 去努力的维持或促进对这人的感情.....这就是人的伟大.....也不是没一个人都做的到的......no that i wanted for a repay or what...i am will to scarifice...but atleast a show of respect or appreciation...hai...life is tough...it is hard to be good...

What am i thinking.....

2008-03-09T23:12:00.003+08:00

Nothing to do come to blog...haha...attachment start le..at Philips Singapore PTE LTD and the work is really fuck up...my department only got 3 people...1 ang mo boss who nv show face one, 1 supervisor alway duno go where and lastly is me...wah lau...damn boring lo...one person in the office really duno can do wat ar...no fren nvm but no workmate also...duno can tok to who also...everything also alone...even eat..so sian..worst still got 2++ months...duno how to survive ar...maybe first week only...hope following weeks will better...haha...whole week working until fri after work meet ben ben and monyet went to buy doughnut then went Vivo to meet michelle to buy cake for meishan bday....saw someone shouldnt saw there but no choice already seen le...after that straight went to Beds to put the cake then went for dinner...drank and play until everyone came then sing song for meishan...after cake cutting is drinking time...meishan drink until vomit..haha..and we share waterfall together...after that 3++ went to supper then send ben ben home and i went home....on the way home i duno why suddenly got very emotion...maybe is drink too much le ba...very very sad...i know i made a mistake le but it is too late le..i need alot of time to overcome it le...hai.....never slp the whole night then rest at home until evening time meet meishan and monyet went for dinner then went to fren day celebration at MOS....drink and fool around until 2++ very tired liao then head back yishun for supper then chat awhile then head home....today rot until late afternoon then meet monyet for dinner then chat until night then went home...wat is super boring is that tml have to work again...the stupid work...so boring one....play com until duno can do wat....sian...recently found a very nice cantonese song...the lyrics very meaningful...like it alot so i put in at my blog...anyone reading this can listen to the song...really very nice...hope u will like it too...nowaday everyone seem to have alot of troubles which cant be solve...duno why also...and i cant even help abit...hai...felt very tired le....everytime starting of the years it doesnt seem smooth one...maybe later part of the year will be better ba....haha...Hope To Have A Wonderful Day........

外表看起来很坚强的人, 出其实心里是最脆弱的...因为要掩饰心里的脆弱, 所以人才把外表装做的很坚强....但心里的软弱,心里的痛是没有外人可以明白的.....就因如此外表坚强的人往往都把悲伤往心里塞....塞的满满的, 塞到有一天没法塞时"砰"的一声心就爆炸了....心就会慢慢的死掉....到那时候痛不痛已经不重要了...因为死掉的心是没有感觉的.....然而心力交瘁的人也会因受不了而感到绝望, 慢慢的对一切感到失望....外表所受的伤是远远不及内心所能受的....最重要的是内心的伤是很难很难才会好的...时间的长短根本不可以来判断痊愈的时机....能断定的就是心痛了多久......我真希望我不是个外表坚强的人.............

Walking in the Vast Land....Never Ending...

2008-03-02T20:57:00.006+08:00

finally exam ended and holiday started...but too bad i dun have one..as i have to go for attachment tml while others are having holidays....sian...haha....but luckily my attchment is at TPY so is quite near for me and is a big electronics company so have to work hard for it...haha...duno wat will i do at there so full so question and excited...haha...tue meet monyet and ben ben went to Beds as it is having anniversy celebration there...free buffet and free flow drinks...haha...the decoration there is quite nice as is different from the normal day and ben ben is very happy abt it..haha...she wanted the whole pub balloons...haha...a little balloon can make her so happy..haha..so cute of her...haha...see her enjoying the day i feel happy too..haha...then songhua came and we start playing and drinking...around 9pm i was high already...haha...then we open 2 bottle martell drink until all is drunk expect ben ben cos dun let her drink much...is a wonderful and happy night until wenliang did a very very STUPID thing which causes us need to send him to hospital...hai...but he is also drunk le so maybe he didnt wan it to happen also...then acch im at SGH until morning then send ben ben home....then nv slp and i went sch to take attachment result...then afternooon meet monyet and went to visit wenliang...acc until night then went home...next day afternoon i went visit alone then we run out of hospital to have dinner and meet songhua and ben ben....went back chat until mid-night then went home...then fri slack at home until night meet monyet went funeral tehn hard to SGH to find wenliang...haha...sat afternoon meet guowen monyet go for a run then me and guowen acc wenliang down to help him open the pub as he is tem-handicap..haha...we 3 went in took of ours top then clean the whole pub...haha...quite fun but tiring too...haha...after everything is done we went eat then wait for monyet and songhua...drink beer until ben ben came...then we drink martell and we order 1 more...drink play and have fun....everyone seem so enjoy about it...so glad to see it...esp ben ben is so happy...haha...then after tat went geylang for supper then head home le...send ben ben home and something happen which i most dun wan to happen....hai....you never wrong ok ben ben...i understand and i know...you never spoil anything ok....as long as you are happy and you enjoy can le...nothing else matter ok....then today slack at home until evening time went for dinner....cos tml need to work so cannot go anywhere...haha...so sian....feeling not very good now as alot of thing happen this few weeks....duno wat is happening also...why like this....thing i least expected happened.....maybe i really not mature enough or never think well enough...or cos maybe i was wrong once i cant be right again....hai....Hope Tml Will Be A Better Day at Work....

现在的心情好复杂好乱...我好心做了一件坏事...我不小心的伤害了一个我最保护的人....我不否认我的方式可能是有错的但我的出发点是好的...那个人也很明白我最终的目的是什么, 我只想保护和让那个人开心...但我万万没想到既然害到那个人, 这是我最不想看到的...我感到有点内疚和歉意...但我不知道我可以做什么来弥补一切, 除了继续保护和关怀那个人...也许我的思想还不够健全不够成熟, 这点以后我一定会多加改进的...也或许我的方式有错误吧, 要不然就是很难让人接受的做法...我不知道最终会着么样, 但我希望结果是好的,是开心的....其余的我就不管那么多了....只希望你会明白....没有一个人是完全错的...真的有错的话那就应该是大家的, 而不是你一个人的....而且你不是一个人...你还有我和一群很疼你的人会一直陪着你...知道吗...不管发生什么事我都会在你伸手就找的到的地方保护你....

thinking deeply...feeling deeply...

2008-02-13T00:25:00.009+08:00

Here to blog again...haha...blog abt chinese new year stuff and not like someone copy others and paste..wahaha...u know u who right...haha...new year eve wake up early and help out my father then after lunch help out my mum for praying then wait for my brother and da sao to arrival and had out Reunion dinner...every year the same too much food and cannot finish it..haha...then chat around then i meet wenliang to acc for dinner...then went home and wait for night praying...after praying meet my brothers and frens for movie session organise by zhixiong..haha...as this is a standard proceede every new year eve...haha..watch CJ7...not a bad movie...funny and touching...the young actress is so cute and good in acting....full marks for her...haha...after went home slp and wake up 9am++ faster bath as my eager father is ready to go le..then went to my third aunt house to bai nian...ate play fool around until late afternoon then went to my brother house to eat and play as there is no adult at there so is more fun...haha...after that went to my mother side 3rd aunt house to bai nian...eat play and take video for eveyone and i won a lucky draw 3rd prize $28 dollars...haha...after went home to rest and wait for xiong then meet some of them and went out again...haha...2nd day i skip the more bai nian part then rest at till night then meet xiong monyet alex to chat then went to watch movie Ah Long PTE LTD....not a very nice show only some part very funny only other than tat is very lame as least to me la..haha...here come the third day..the most busy and fun day...wake up early and keep msging and calling restaurant for seats but in the end fix back to the Miramar Hotel international Buffet...slack around 4 then prepare and for wenliang to come then wait for others ESP KEWEI cos he late for half and hour then went to mrt to meet the others...was already le but the fucker FUXING is more late...haha..so standard of him...once everyone was gathering we took the mrt down to chinatown and took bus to the hotel...this year very good as no one drive...haha....had the buffet although not very nice but atleast something la...ate and fool alot there then after dinner we went to Beds for the drinking session...drank alot this year too...2 bottle 3 litres of Martell and 2 barrel of beer...haha..drink until alot of ppl vomit and sleep...haha...really enjoy the day alot... and thanks to them to give me such a wonderful day...haha...really so glad to have them in my life....haha...they teach me and bring me alot of happiness....haha....then 4th day slack at home until evening then meet xiong and monyet and went to Beds again to slack and watch soccer and drink beer...haha..drink again...haha...then monday slack at home went gym and rest at home...tue went drinking again as something happen so i rush down....felt very sad to hear a bad news...and see thing happen out like this....really hope everything will be fine for him again....then wed went out with crystal to cineleisure to watch movie and dinner then meet tianshun and went to beds to find xiong and monyet...and yes DRINK again...haha....then today went to study then rest at home cos need to pray at night...haha...alot of thing happen this few days...got surprise got sad one...how i really wish everyday can be like the first 3 days of new years....haha...hope that the following days will be better and better for my Family Brothers and of cos ME...haha.....

724 brothes and Friends at Hotel....

724 brothers and friends at Beds Drinking session...

A Boss, A Fighter and A Assistant...

A Bear, A Pig and A language...

The table of hungry MAN...

2008-01-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

Finally i am able to blog le...haha...a new year has passes...time seem to have pass so fast...but i am glad i am still lving well and my family and group of brothers all still well....haha...long time never blog le dun really know wat to type also...haha...start frm new year eve ba...new year eve celebrated with brothers and friends at sembawang park...just like last year...a fun night and i enjoyed alot...after that is back to sch life again...so boring...everyday go sch study and head home...then maybe sat go out eat or drink...same old routine like last year....nothing really special...life really can be boring sometime...haha...actually also nothing big happen in my days also...haha...so really nothing much to really write...haha...recently i found out something which i dun like but too bad there is nothing i can do with it...so sian...other than accept it i think nothing else matter le ba....chinese new year coming soon...really hope luck can change better and life can be more fun and meaningful....i know i am greedy but i am still a human...maybe sometime what i ask for is too much...but a least to me is not...haha...so i think it is fine...but hoping is the motivation to make me move further and i need it alot....haha...so i really need someone whoever is can grant my wish...haha...maybe i really think too much sometime...have to think lesser and assume lesser then my life will be better...or maybe what i did is really useless or really is wrong....haha...what to do....haha...hate finding out truth sometime...haha...Really Really hope for a good start and stay happy forever....haha....

有时真的很怀疑知己, 很怀疑自己是不是真的想太多了...很怀疑事实到底是不是自己所想的那样...很怀疑自己是不是真的很不了解自己...真的感觉很疑惑但却又找不到答案, 又不知该如何事好...好迷惘, 好迷惘...不知为何总觉得做了好多, 但事实上却没有想象的那样多...与此同时却又觉得自己还有好多还没做, 但却做不了....难道是自己多心还是事实本就如此...经历了这么多但还有好多好多事情看不通和想不通...真不明白做人为何必须想那么多, 搞到自己最后甚至怀疑自己...真是可悲...做个畜生可能都比较好吧...起码不需要想太多, 也不需要假装自己吧......

Crazy drinking session....

New year eve celebration....

2007-12-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

Finally i manage to get to blog after so long time...thanks to a fren coms...haha..so sorry cause for the time being i do not have internet connection anymore sue to something happen...but i will try to blog more often next time as i could...finally common test ended and holidays start...what a relieve...hope can have good grade for it....if not next year have to study very hard liao..haha...time passes really fast...so fast gonna 1 yr le...dun even know wat i had did for this year and next year is coming le...what is life...haha...last week had a fun and nice week...as is my birthday...on thur met zhixiong then duno this duno that ended up at BEDS at sultan...haha...then meishan came and all gave me a surprise...haha..so happy that night...Thanks guys...then sat went to dinner with sis,wenjing and ben ben...after went BEDs again then suddenly my campmate called me then i rush down to see what happen and he gave me a surprise celebration....haha...drink alot there...then went to DBL O cos classmate celebrating birthday...drink again...after went to boat quay with fren to drink again and to chat about something..haha..jialat ar...actually promise not to drink last week cos this week exam but in the end i drink more than ever...wahaha...think i really couldny try to quit or cut something i wish ba...cos the result will alway so negative one..haha...Thanks Everyone who had wishes me....for those who never nevermind...it is fine...i understand that everyone is busy with their life and things....haha...Just wishes and Hope everything will be fine and everyone will be happy......

2007-10-16T21:56:00.000+08:00

finally sch start le...the timetable i dont really like expect for the friday off part...3 days all until very late...this mean i cannot go gym..cos it is very tiring as i tried before...haha...but dont wish to cut down...duno how...but think a solution will come out as time goes by ba...haha...didnt really do much this few days...only went to sch then head home to rest...last fri went drinking then head home....then sat went to watch movie "兄弟" with my brothers...the story plot not very nice....but i still like the movie as it is andy lau flim..haha....the acting part is good but the story no good...nothing exciting or surprising...so normal all the way...only a few but very funny only....after went to chat with fren then went home....sun only meet brothers got dinner then went home to rest cos zhixiong monyet guowen went malaysia...haha....i alone leh...haha...and this few days thinking of having a gathering with all my close brother...haha...since long nearly everyone gather le...miss all the fun we use to have le...haha...this few day all at home...haha...can consider quite good boy for this few days...haha...cos dont really have the mood to do anything also....haha....this few days keep thinking of something....it really trouble me alot and i am disappointed with it...not the thing that happen but is me...maybe all the while it is me who dont really understand...maybe i am the stupid one...maybe i am the foolish one...but luckily the thing didnt happen...if not i think i am going to face the worst thing in my life le...hai...glad that it did not happen as i know once happen i think i going to go crazy one and i will regret it for life....although i still cant forget but i know i will as time goes by....i dont wat i am doing is right or wrong but i hope that it is the right thing and is the best way.....really...i really hope...so disappointed in me.....haiz.....

对我自己好失望...差一点就犯下了一个无法弥补的过错, 还好我及时发现问题的孵化才来的急停止一切....真没想到我自己这么理性的人也会差一点犯下如此的过错...真的是人非圣贤谁能无过...现在是不是问题在于我已经完全不重要了, 因为我不想在想下去了...无论在想多少次结局已经是如此了, 在强求换回来的只是痛苦和悲伤...所以算了吧, 一再的多想都只是我个人的放不下和胡思乱想吧了....不过放心因为我对我知己发过誓, 无论如何我们都会在一起直到死亡的那一天为止....我也会尽量的帮你, 虽然我不知道自己做不做的到但我会尽力的... 至于你接不接受就要让你自己的决定了...我无话可说, 而我也认了......

对我自己好失望....觉得自己很失败...

2007-10-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

Feel bore so come to blog...sat afternoon meet fren and went to beach road army market to shop and bought a short...the weather is damn hot until we decide not to walk anymore and went to raffles city fora walk then i head home get change and went to dinner with my Ohs family as my grandmother treat us for dinner at at resturant....so it is a gathering again with my family...the food is not bad la..only abit noisy as my uncles and aunties is sing song in the room..haha...think all the cousins think the same..haha..after dinner went to K-box with my cousin to celebrate cousin wenjing bday...he quite surprise too...haha...sing and play around...but too bad he seem very bore of it..haha...but hopw he enjoy ba...then sunday morning wake up and went to my cousin house as his son full month...so family gathering again..haha...ate and play around with my cousin....after tat head home for a rest then meet songhua and went to fren house as his daughter full month also...ate alot and joke alot as some of them long time never see le...after tat went coffeeshop meet fren to acc him eat and chat then head home...mon went to gym then night meet fren and went out for a havoc night..haha..long time never play until like that le...enjoyed the night...haha..today went for swimming then rest and rot at home....holiday is finishing soon...time seem to pass so fast...and OCT i need to Ops manning meaning i need to go back camp again...so sian...haha...not this few day not feeling very good...mentally is crashing down...as i found out something which will make my life very harsh from the day onwards unless i find a way to settle it..if not i think i will die with it ba...haiz....Hope to have a nice and better day.....

最近我发现了一个秘密...一个会让我往后的路很难走的秘密...当我发现时已经太迟了, 已经没有不伤害我自己的解决方法了...虽然很不愿意,但事情一定要解决要不然有一天我会崩溃的...一个没有奇迹可以解决的问题...因为奇迹只是留给有希望的人....而不是我....真希望事情可以完美的解决, 虽然知道没有可能但我还是希望着....这次受的伤我想会比预期的大吧....虽然时间可以治愈伤口, 但有很多人都被时间伤的更重.....希望我不是后者吧....觉得好失望...好失望....我想没有人会明白吧...忽然觉得知己好笨好笨........

脸带笑容心悲哀, 心事谁人知...

2007-09-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

Finally i come to blog le..since real long i never blog le..finally there is something i can write about le..haha...last week is a busy week as i was helping my brother for his wedding preparetion...friday afternoon help father tend shop then evening time wait for the piglet then went to my brother home for a small family gathering...i even cook the chicken wings..haha...took photos, drink beer, fool around, see the wedding photo and chat with uncles and aunts...then around 10++ went back home for praying...then went back brother house to relax and took stuff then drive to my da sao house to farmilise the route then went back home and acc ben ben until morning and sent her home with xingying...slp for around wake at 8am++ bath as my grandmother came and wait for the groom and bride to arrive...as they arrive i went down to open the bride car door and recieve ang bao..haha...then lead them back to my house for the praying session...after praying went to my brother house for the tea session...had buffet and fool around until all the aunt and uncle came then start the tea session...i got ang bao again as i need to pay respect for my da sao..haha...after everything is done had some food again then wait until the buffet is return then went home and i take nap cos damn tired...haha..after that dress up and went for the dinner session at suntec convention hall...haha...very tired also as i stand nearly the whole night together wit hmy brother...haha...eat drink fool around and took alot of photos...haha...had a wonderful night...since long i had so happy day le...although it is very tired but i am very happy about it...smile and fool around the whole day even i was very very tired...haha...dont know when is my turn..haha....let nature do the course ba...haha..really enjoy the night alot alot...haha...hope can everytime also the day....

Yesterday organise a gathering for my brothers and we went to seletar dam for a BBQ session...meet around 8 then went to buy food and stuff to BBQ...play around fool around...and acc my sis, XP, ben ben also as they were there too..haha...did alot of cray stuff and disturb alot of people along the way....drinks beer, eat alot, play alot and chat alot as some of them long time never see le...haha...had a wonderful night also...a great night i can say...hope everyone also enjoy that night...haha...

Gathering with Brothers and Friends..

I LOVE MY FAMILY....

Cousins, Sis and Me at Brother wedding...

My Ben Ben princess and Me at my Brother wedding...

2007-08-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

finally exam is over and i really hope that i can pass all the subject well...haha..and the long long holiday started...hope can faster end it as the holidays is too long le...haha...hope to find a part time job too so can earn some money to spend...didnt do anything much this few days...only stay at home rot or go for a run...so boring...today just watch a show from channel 5 "Stories of Love"..it is a nice show i can say and it touches my heart...the story line is not bad and the acting is quite good...and the actress look like someone i use to know...someone i was quite good with...but since i went in army we lost contact somehow and she did alot of thing i dont agreed...so we drift more and more apart...until now i find it a pity that we ended up like this..not what i really hope and wanted for but this kind of thing no one can force it....so let nautre take it course is the best way....the actress look like her so much that when i saw her crying it make me feel the pain...make me wan to console and concern for her...maybe that is why i find the show very touching ba....haha.......time passes fast and i dont even dare to bump into her...cause i know it wont feel good...maybe all the while is my fault or maybe not...but nvm since it is already a past why not make it a good one..a more memorable one...haha...sometime really hope Time Can Be Revese...then i can undo alot of wrong things i had done....haha.............

爱是无限的...爱可以使人包容对方的一切, 接受对方所有的缺点...不管对方病老还是死亡, 爱都能掩盖一切让人付出无私的关怀和无限关心....爱也会随着时间而慢慢的成长, 而化为无比力量来推动人的意志....促使人更加的积极生活和珍惜生命....爱竟然那么的伟大, 那么又为什么有这么多人选择放弃呢......还是说是爱放弃了人, 不给人拥有的权利或资格来去享受爱可以给人的快乐呢.....?我真的不明白......

时间一天一天的过去, 没想到我还会想你........

2007-08-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

Since long i last blog...so decided to blog...did alot of things this few weeks...celebrate friend birthday at chalet, at KTV pub and this coming sat celebrate friend birthday at KTV pub again...haha...every week i also try to keep myself busy...so that i wont anyhow think anymore and it somehow work...the best is that i cut down my drinking le...never drink alot like last time anymore...even drink also not that much can say not drunk anymore le....so feel quite contented about it...had a peaceful weeks as nothing bad really happens and i am contented with it...only exam is coming and i left with 2 more paper to finish my this sems...hope can faster finish it and pass it...then i wont need to stress anymore...duno since when i start to stress myself on my study without realising myself...i now tend more wanted a good grade than just a pass only...haha...alot of subject i wish to get A's...haha...really so not me...if last time a pass will make me happy but now a pass wont cause anything in me anymore...only A's can make me happy le...maybe i have change without myself realising it...haha...tend to be more greedy le...but aren't humans greedy in nature...who dont wish for a better life or a more happy life...getting something good only make you wish to want it more...haha...maybe i just need to be more contented about what i have now then my life will be more happier and better...hahaha...Hope to have a nice and happy life.....

人类都是贪心的...不管是好人还是坏人都是贪心的....好人会为了要维持好人的形象而拼命做好事来得到旁人的夸奖, 又或着是为了要满足自己的心态和良心而不断的做好事....这就是贪的念头...贪旁人的夸奖, 贪自己的虚荣心....更甚至贪做好事会有回报....坏人就更不用说了....因为一切罪恶由贪念开始....贪才让你去做坏事, 做伤天害己的事....只是说坏人贪的比较明显而好人贪的比较婉转罢了.....但人非圣贤, 谁能无过...只要不要贪到伤人伤己我想就好了吧...唯一能期望的就是人能明白知足常了这个道理吧.....

人生苦短, 及时行乐...珍惜身边的每一个人....

2007-08-06T00:17:00.000+08:00

finally sch end le..holiday stated and exam is coming soon...hope can faster finish everything then enjoy this holiday then have a new start next semster...did nothing much this week...friday slack at home then night went to watch movie " Flashing Point" 导火线...not a bad movie as the fighting move is good and seem very real...watch until i tremble not becos i am cold but duno why i feel so excited about it and like i am joining in like that...haha..maybe i am mad or crazy but overall i feel that it is quite worth the money to watch it...then sat went to meet fren then walk around orchard then went to fren KTV pub at sultan to relax...after that then meet my campmate and schoolmate and went to DBL O...not a bad night until last part of the day....but at least i quite enjoy it...then today meet ben ben and went to uncle house to visit them as my cousin and her father got dengue fever...after that my grand mother treat us for dinner...after dinner went to meet fren to chat a coffeeshop then head home...a realx day i can say...just now read someone blog then suddenly felt emotional as the someone is very close to me...guess something happened but she never said it out and suffer alone and i know is hard for her....hope she can overcome it and everything can end happily...if you need help i am always here to help you...Hope Everyone will have nice days ahead....

好人...每一个人都想做好人, 但做了好人又着么样...每一个人都说你是好人时又着么样, 到头来得到的又是什么屁...不管你做的在多在好只要另一方不接受或不心领, 到头来都是一场空....好人真的有那么好做吗....如果不是那么为什么又有这么多人想要去做呢...但是如果好做的话, 那么为什么又会有人情愿去做坏人呢....不理解...我真的不理解......可能我这辈子都不会理解吧.....

是爱让人感觉幸福,温暖....但也是爱让人一败涂地....

2007-07-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

since long i blog so i decided to blog...did alot of thing this few weeks...watched movie, celebrate friend birthday, went to cafe to relax, celebrate my ben ben wynny bday...haha...just did alot and just dont how to describe it...haha....not very smooth this few week but i manage to overcome it and pass it through...so can consider not bad...the best of all is that i manage to cut down my drinking...went drinking a few time but i manage cut down alot and really is alot..so a good start for my plan of cutting down drinking...haha..although cut down drinking but still over spend my money but nevermind think need more time before i can really handle my money well..haha...finally able to accept something i understand very long and see through alot...although not the whole thing but i think i can slowly cope it...at least i hope so...but what to do...hope that everything will be fine again...i really hope....if not i think i cannot forgive myself.......i just hope everything will be fine again nothing else more...but maybe a happy day will be better....haha..

我突然觉得有很多事是事与愿违的...很多东西你不认命是不可以的, 因为人生毕竟还是要靠天来安排...我本来也不接受这个事实,但发生了这么多东西后我不认命也不行...虽然很不甘心但是还是必须接受这一切, 毕竟这就是人生...与其要老天给你美好日子到不如要老天把你变成一个可以接受任何困难或悲伤的一个人....也许这样一来日子应该就会更美好更好过吧.......

Somehow lost......

2007-07-14T15:30:00.000+08:00

i think 2007 is a tough year for me...at least until now i find it very tough for me to pull it through...i still remember i went to temple to pray i saw the forcast of my year this year...it said it is a good year for me...got romance got lucky money got to know new nice ppl got business to do...a very nice year should be...but till now i dont agree it and i dont find it true....i didnt got romance but instead woman problems...i didnt got extra money but only spend alot....i didnt get to know new nice people but instead i lose my most closer one....about business i dun even have time for it....so what is good about this year...since the starting of the year unlucky and unhappy stuff came one by one....although there are good things happen also but the happiness doesnt support me to pull through the hardships....although alot of it i can understand but it doesnt mean that i am able to accept it...i know life will have hardship then one can grow up...but i think this time it hit me really hard...i am now collaspe and dead...so disappointed in myself and life...maybe what i had done all the while is all wrong..maybe i never right before just that i only think i am right...until wat i feel is that i seem like a failure....i agree my life is better than alot alot of people around the world....but better life really doesnt mean happy life...now i dun even dare to hope for anything...not even a happy day...just dont a sad day is fine for me....i lose too much thing this few months i dont even know how long i still can endure or take it...everyone say time will heal...but i dont even feel the healing and if time really can heal then why are there still so many conflict exist....hai...maybe i am wrong...totally wrong...i really hope that thing can be the same like last time...i dun care for anything just the happy life i used to have...is it too much...?? maybe i am greedy but who dont....hai....feeling hopeless is painful....really painful...........

失败...忽然觉得我做人真失败....起码对我而言做人做到像我这样真的很失败....我越是努力奋斗我越是失败....我真的不知道该怎么办才好....感觉好无助....失去了很多对我很珍贵的东西....心好痛....已经伤痕累累的心在挨多几刀我想很快就会碎了吧...我已经慢慢的崩溃了....我好想放弃一切......因为连我以前觉得最重视和最有把握的东西都让我觉得动摇了, 真的是不知道该如何是好....我真的是不知道我还可以坚持多久....感觉心好痛......心碎心痛有谁懂......

心碎心痛....

2007-07-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

finally common test is over...but everyday still doesnt seem right for me...duno wat went wrong duno wat happen...hai....this 3 month is really very tough for me...alot of thing happen and alot of it i can't solve it only to run away from it...how stupid am i and wat a failure i am....really hope everything will back to normal..and i can have a really nice day......

最近发生了好多事情搞的我好累好累....出去跑了几圈后回到家我忽然感到我的人好累好累, 我躺在地板上望着天花板想着想着眼泪就流了出来.....眼泪跟汗水融合在一起, 顺时间让我分不清楚到地流出来的是眼泪还是汗水......我突然感觉到我好空虚好孤独, 那种无助感更让我的眼泪不停的流出来......我终于崩溃了....强忍了这么久的痛苦即眼泪终于在此时表露了出来.....这几个月来我承受了不少的压力既问题, 导致我快要精神崩溃了.....心力交瘁的我根本不知道该如何是好....原本还以为躲在家里会好一些, 因为家是我唯一的避风港, 家人也是我可以依靠的....但是我错了, 家人根本不明白也不知道我所经历的痛苦与难题, 他们所知道只是表面上的我, 内心的我他们根本不清楚发生了什么事.....也就因为如此他们以为我很快乐很开心, 然后拼命的叫我做东西并且不停的教训我....但他们并不知道我内心所可以承受的已经到达了极点了.....即使是他们错了, 到最终都会变成是我不对.....此刻真的我好想放弃一切, 但是又有点不甘心....不甘心还有很多事没做, 还有没有真正被心爱的女人爱过.....有太多不甘心的事情让我还不能放下, 但是可以做的我真的不知道还有什么....迷惘的我就好像无头的苍蝇, 到处飞来飞去根本没有目的也没有意义......真的直觉的好累好类...还可以撑多久我知己也不敢保证, 只希望不好的事情可以快点过去吧....至于回忆就让时间冲淡吧.....

So Tired.....

2007-06-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

最近读到有人写的一句话, 读了之后感触很多....他写 "叶子的离去是树没有挽留还是风的追求...." 读完后我就联想到树与叶子之间的关系, 想了想其实还满有道理的....爱情的过程就好像树与叶子的关系....早来的爱情就好比树种的不坚固,而不会茁壮成长...而迟来的爱情就好比季节过了才来种树, 根本不会发苗...准确的时机与付出的努力才能让树长的又大又稳...当时机准确后, 叶子就会长出来...到那时叶子与树的关系就离不开了.... 叶子会吸取阳光来化成养分并供应给树来成长, 而树就会吸取土地里的养分和水来供应给叶子并让它茁壮成长....这样的互动就会触进彼此双方的依赖性和关系....就好比爱情, 男女互相的关怀与照顾就会触进彼此间的关系与感情而让这份爱慢慢的变到不能没有对方而依赖对方, 然后慢慢的需要对方的存在然后在一起到天慌地老....不管风在大雨在强都不能拆撒这份爱和彼此之间关怀与依赖....但是只要有一方忽略或减少对彼此的关怀与照顾, 那就会好像树与叶子一样只要其中一方停止了供应养分, 那么叶子就会枯萎并掉落或被风吹走....到那时树就会跟着枯萎并死去.......就像分手了情侣一样爱情会慢慢的死去....到最后不管是不是风还是雨的追求, 不坚固的爱情是很容易被枪走的....到最后伤心的只剩不知未来的树和掉落在地上的叶子........

叶子的离去是树没有挽留还是风的追求....

2007-06-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

friday went to sch to study and evening time met campmate for dinner then went to cafe to relax...sat rot at home the whole day until night went for supper then to Dam for a chat...sunday rest at home then evening time met campmate for gathering dinner then head home....finally i never drink for this week...a good start hope can continue it..haha...and exam started today...a stress week is coming...whole week having exam...so boring...hai...hope this week can pass very fast...today paper is fuck up...all i study one never come out..all i give up one all came out...what the fuck...think will fail this paper...and tml is math...worst paper of all...hope can pass it....start of week not very lucky le hope can more lucky tml.....suddenly i really felt very tired of everything......every moment....but there is nothing i can really do about it...only to live with it...this few months is really bad for me..alot of thing happen making me going crazy soon...suddenly think that nothing i had done is right..maybe all the while i was wrong just that i didnt realise....giving in isnt the right way of doing things....until now whether right or wrong it doesnt matter le...my heart is dying and soon it wont beat anymore...maybe this year is my unlucky year...i really had nothing to say...nothing to hope for also...just want to live everyday smoothly and quietly.....as long as contented i am fine with it....

我开始对世间的一切感到厌倦...慢慢的我发现了我是属于那种听天由命型的人, 因为要我人定胜天我没有办法做到....软弱的我是经不起上天的风吹雨打的考验的....生死有命,富贵在天或许应该是我人生的命运吧.....好累好累........

You may have clip my wings,
but i will never forgot the feeling of soaring in the sky......

2007-06-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

A new week has started and hope to have a nice and better week...last week went sch and gym...fri went to watch movie "Fantastic Four"...not a very nice show...abit plain but not too bad...then sat actually wanted to celebrate my best bro bday but in the end he dont wish to come out so i nv force him...so i went to meet my campmate at chinatown for a drinks...have a havoc night...duno why...drank alot...drank until i vomit and black out for some moment...then i went home...then sun i hangover the whole day...so fucking hate that feeling...i also duno why i drink so much that day...not a happy day nothing special but i just drank alot....maybe it is time i really cut down on drinking....this time i really mean it...cos drinking doesnt seem happy anymore and it doesnt solve my problem within my heart and it really a big damage to my health...i dont have the urge or motivation to drink anymore...not for happy not even saddness...just purely drinking i think is mad and worst i drink more and more fierce...haiz...really time to cut down and listen to people who care about me say...and by cutting down i can save some money also....cos a ben ben keeping asking me to save money for her birthday present...haha...maybe save more money than i can enjoy other kind of enjoyment...although nothing now can really cure the pain in my heart but i really hope time can heal it...but time just suddenly passes to slow....after having thinking for so long i finally understand alot but that doesnt mean i can accept it....maybe when time passes i can slowly accept it more....to those i had let down...i am really sorry.......to those who care for me....Thanks alot....let Hope For A Better Day.....

外表看起来很坚强的人, 出其实心里是最脆弱的...因为要掩饰心里的脆弱, 所以人才把外表装做的很坚强....但心里的软弱心里的痛是没有外人可以明白的.....就因如此外表坚强的人往往都把悲伤往心里塞....塞的满满的, 塞到有一天没法塞时"砰"的一声心就爆炸了....心就会慢慢的死掉....到那时候痛不痛已经不重要了...因为死掉的心是没有感觉的.....即使心没爆炸, 心力交瘁的人也会因受不了而感到绝望, 慢慢的对一切感到失望....外表所受的伤是远远不及内心所能受的....最重要的是内心的伤是很难很难才会好的...时间的长短根本不可以来判断痊愈的时机....能断定的就是心痛了多久......我真希望我不是个外表坚强的人.............

2007-06-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

a week passes and i dont feel it right...nv really sleep nv really eat...nothing is really right...never really did anything much....haiz....even drinking wont help....really dont know what to do.....really hope time will pass faster and everything will be fine again but i know it is hard...holidays starting and i really know what to do...Really hope for a better day....

我猜不透人的心里究竟要的是什么,想的究竟是什么...我想我这辈子都应该猜不透吧...人心难测...希望不要去想就会好一点吧...我想说但我又害怕,我怕说了也没有用...现在我做的一切,都只是掩饰着心痛和我的难过...我真的很想学会自我催眠,这样一来痛觉会少一些...那么我就不会睡不着而感到心烦,感到幸苦....心有点倦了,长夜苦涩难熬...时间几乎停止了,停止了我的思考能力使到我不管做什么都不对...好累...

2007-06-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

Finally my ICT had finish...what a tough week i had gone thru....even thou it was a low key exercise it was damn tough for me...IPPT, section battle course,Armour Mounted attack, road march, bashing in vegetation, attacking trench with MG and lots of shit job.....1 week need to do so much...really cant imagine next year i will be having a high key exercise, duno how to survive it....sat went to velvet dragon with campmates....not much crowd but drank alot and have a great night as we disturb alot of ppl....sunday went it fair and it was damn pack until i walk until pek cek...then night meet brothers to watch movie Blades Of Glory...a very funny and damn lame show but it was quite nice as we laugh our days of......recently alot of things happen this few days....can consider the darkest time of my life...because of some misunderstanding something i dont wish the most happen...i admit and know is my fault but i know no matter what i do or say now nothing is gonna change...cause things already happen and i am the one in fault....i can understand how he feel and why he is angry about it but who understand how i feel.......i also very heart break that thing happen this way....if i know this is the outcome i swear i never do it....this time i really shit big time....cos of a thing i did without thinking it became like this....how i wish the time can reverse and i can mend everything now....but that the facts is that i did it and time wont come back....i really regret doing it....Really hope that time can heal everything...and it will be a fast one...cause i couldnt stand it anymore...the mentally toture i had is really killing me...i duno when i will break down but i hope i wont...everything seem like a fake but the real is that it really happen...so what am i going to do...wat i can really do....i really duno...i really hope for a better day a nicer day at least.......

心真的很痛...发生了这件事让我心真的很痛, 也让我很后悔我所做的一切....心力交瘁的我真的不知道还可以撑多久....外表看起来很坚强的我, 内心其实是最脆弱的.....我明白我所犯的错, 但是有没有人站在我的立场想一想....或许我真的不应该没经思考而去做一件事.....也许我真的是错但是换给我的惩罚实在太重了....我真的接受不了....让我吃不下睡不好....精神上的责备和忏悔让我心力交瘁....我明白事情的原因和对错, 但这不代表我可以接受...我知道现在说什么做什么都没有用...我能做的就是希望得到原谅或谅解....这件事的发生也让我发现到原来我认识了厨师, 发现厨师的存在跟让我伤心跟让我怀疑自己的存在价值.....一波又一波的打击让我真的快要死了....我常对人说的一句话"一失足成千古恨" 终于用在我的身上了....我想我能做的就是祈求上天, 快点让时间冲淡一切吧......我真的很对不起...

2007-05-19T23:29:00.000+08:00

thurs after school met fren and went down boat quay to drink and to find his dream girl...haha..drank alot and fool around alot...after drinking acc fren and went disco and play until 6am++ then ate supper cum breakfast then sent fren back home...reach home around 7am++ damn tired sia..24 hour nv sleep and i still need to help father cause my mum went to body checkup...only 1++ then i went to take a nap until evening then went to gym then night went to boat quay again...drank some and play alot...chat alot with my brother then went to have supper then went home around 6am++ today 10am++ wake up and help father then watch dvd until evening time then went to have dinner with my family...eat alot and drink alot...haha...eating and drinking sure is a great enjoyment...haha..but felt damn tired....dont think going out later cause think will die very soon if went out...continue 3 days drinking liao..so long never like this liao dont think body can cope with it...must relax and cut down le...haha...if not i dun think i can really live for long...haha...tml should be a home rotting day also....haha...Really Hope For A Better Day....

我好开心...好开心看到我的好兄弟们拥有了自己所可以追求和实现的一段感情...一个被上一段的感情自我封闭了许久, 一直无法忘怀....但我最近看到他找到了新的目标, 又在度解开他的心房朝着美好的新恋情勇敢的追求下去...看到他又拥有了信心我觉得好开心好欣慰....另一个好兄弟他终于找到了他在那女孩心理存在的位置, 也终于明白了他在她心目中的地位是有多么重要....明白后的他显得好开心又很幸福的样子....看到他这样我也替他开心因为在他的感情生活中曾经出现过了很多次的失败...现在他能成功想必是非常开心的一件事吧....看到他们两人我感到好开心但开心的同时又好羡慕他们...好羡慕他们找到了自己所可以追求的目标...而我却不知道该如何是好...我也是人也会有感情, 所谓人非草木谁能无情, 我又怎么不想跟他们一样呢....要怪就怪我的心以被封闭, 以被冻结了....以被那最后唯一能触碰我心里的人给冰封了....她造成的伤害即使复原了, 我的心也没有勇气在去为女人打开.....现在的我就只能默默的去羡慕其他人吧............

2007-05-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

friday afternoon went gym then evening time meet brothers and went to albert street for supper then went to boat quay to drink...didnt drink alot but duno why feel drunk that day...although not every drunk kind but feel the numbness...haha...2 martell a jur of beer for 5 ppl isnt alot but duno why feel drunk...haha..maybe old liao cannot drink alot anymore...haha...sat rest at home until night then meed brothers to eat then went to boat quay Mind cafe to relax and enjoy...play alot of games and did alot of stupid thing...play until the place closed then some went home but i went to ktv pub to find fren to chat...drank a jur only...after that acc a fren to eat then went home...today too tired to go out so rot at home the whole day...watch alot of show and DVD...suddenly think alot of things but duno why...didnt want anything else...Really hope for a better day....

有人曾经说过 "这世界最遥远的距离就是我在你身边但你却不知道我爱你..." 听了这句话让我觉得满有道理的, 也让我知道距离可以导致爱情出现的痛处....但我觉得这也不算什么, 让我觉得这世界最让人心痛的就是你在我面前但我却不能告诉你我爱你.....这种不能说出来的感觉才令人心痛.....

2007-05-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

what a tiring day...morning went to sch until 3 then went home rest awhile and had dinner then went to gym...training is so fun...it can let out alot of stress...and my ICT is coming near so need to train more so that go back time wont die so jialat..haha...last thur after sch went to boat quay to celebrate fren bday and 1 of my fren need to work the next day so we went home early...then fri went gym with frens then evening time met frens and went boat quay again as he need to do something and we can go drink also..haha...drink alot that day as something happen that day which spoil my mood...sat went dinner then went to watch spiderman 3 at yishun ten....not a bad show but not better than the first 2...after supper then went home as something crops up...sun rot at home and princess call and complain alot of thing so i need to acc her...haha...right ben ben...haha...then evening met fren for dinner and chat awihle then went home....suddenly felt that have been wasting alot of time liao really need to do something useful...haha...really hope can cut down drinking and spend money well...Really Hope For A Better Day...

信任是人与人之间最基本而且必须拥有的条件, 但也是往往最缺少的一种...不管是亲情, 友情或爱情信任都扮演了一个非常重要的角色....有了信任人与人之间的距离会拉近, 误会会减少争吵也就会少之又少...没有了纷争世界就会更完美, 更幸福....人也就不会那么的伤心或悲哀.....但是只要一少了信任, 这个世界就会变的很复杂很多的猜疑...误会自然而然就会多, 争吵也就会不断的发生而导致伤害甚至带来战争....到那时候世界就不幸福不完美了....由此可见信任是多么重要的一种必需品, 一种存在的价值....但往往人就是忘了去相信别人而导致很多问题的存在...到头来才去后悔但一切已经太迟了...人生最基本但却最容易忘记的...我想其中之一就是信任吧......

2007-05-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

sat went to celebrate friend birthday at marina south...the food there sucks and the enviroment is damn hot...never change one and duno why still so many people want to go there and eat...haha...but no choice it is friend bday so had to go...ate abit cos it was damn oily and i hate to cook myself...haha..after that went boat quay KTV pub and have drink to celebrate her bday...drank 2 bottle of chivas when we only had not more than 10 ppl...haha...but chivas taste really sucks...i hate it and i prefer martell more...haha..then my brothers also came down boat quay so i went to find them too and the whole night i was running 2 places to drinks and accompany friends and brothers...haha...drank quite alot...1 martell at brothers place and 1 bucket of beers...around 3am++ send the bday girl off and i went to drink again until moreing 6am++...until that time not drunk liao but felt damn tired...haha...really crazy day of drinking...haha...then sun afternoon went to friend son 2 years old birthday at OCC chalet...ate alot and play alot with friends and the bday boy although most of them were gambling...haha...tue meet brothers to celebrate huilong birhday...went to a resturant and had a 9 course dinner...haha..eat until everyone also cannot eat...after that went to cinema but the movie we want was full so we went to a cafe to drink and play....disturb alot of ppl along the way and at the cafe...and actually wanted the brithday boy to be drunk but too bad the next day he had to work so plan was cancel...haha...today school was boring and tired...the whole day was so sleepy that i dont even care about wat is happening in class or surround me...haha...just wish to faster go home and sleep....still got so many week to survive...Really Wish To Have A Better Life.....

昨夜我梦见了你, 梦里的我们好幸福好开心...我们坐在一起拿着笔流下了彼此的秘密, 开心的表达对彼此之间的关怀和爱意...那一刻时间仿佛停止了, 所有的喜悦充满了整个四周...那种感觉到了现在我都还无法忘怀....只可惜那只是一场梦....一场我好想一直继续下去的梦... 但是现实是残酷的, 因为梦终究还是会有醒来的一天....醒来后的我就只能靠着记忆来回味这幸福的感觉....因为我知道梦跟现实是不会画上等号的...在此刻我忽然觉得我好想你, 忽然渴望拥抱你, 只可惜今夜在我怀里, 只有思念和回忆...

2007-04-23T22:25:00.000+08:00

突然下了一场大雨, 我望着窗口欣赏着雨的美, 突然觉得此刻的我还满幸福的因为在忙碌的世界里我竟然可以有时间和闲情在欣赏着雨滴落在地面上的那种美和宁静, 而且好不在意时间的流失或身边来来往往的人群....真的是不知道该开心还是不开心....是我太悠闲太看得开还是我根本没有意识到我在浪费时间....但久久一次能欣赏到雨的美, 说起来也不象是件坏事....毕竟人生苦短, 要是连欣赏雨的时间都没有那么人生不是更苦吗......最近发生了一些事让我想了很多, 明白了很多也看到了很多, 慢慢的发现到原来人就是要经历磨练经历很多的考验才会得到所谓的快乐和幸福....虽然很不接受这事实也很不愿意听天由命, 但是我又能做什么去改变呢...人原来也是满可怜的一种生物....

2007-04-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

damn tired...sch finally started but i wish that it can end soon...so stress and tiring...the timetable really is fuckup...nearly everyday is up to 6pm...got 1 day up to 9.30 somemore...and the class all start 8am....haiz...duno how long more i can endure it....going to crazy soon if i am not wrong...and the mood of studying is dropping but the subject is getting more and more diffcult...dont know will pass or not...if fail then i think i can go and die liao....haiz...no mood study and somemore felt so moody about somethign else..the world seem like collapsing again...haiz...when will it be nice and enjoyable....Really Hope to have A Better Day......

我好累...真的好累...累到我好想放弃一切, 然后过着与世无争的生活....在累的同时我又觉得我很失败...做人做的很失败....人生到此渴望的很多但拥有的却很少...少到连自己都不清楚自己是否曾经拥有过....真是可悲....现在连我以前觉得最重视和最有把握的东西都让我觉得动摇了, 真的是不知道该如何是好....我觉得人生已经慢慢的在面临崩溃了, 我真的是不知道我还可以坚持多久, 只希望上天不要对我那么的严厉那么的处处逼人, 那么我想我还是可以坚持不懈的....其实这一辈子我不要求什么, 只希望可以平平淡淡开开心心的过一生就好了, 别的我就不敢去要求或奢望....

2007-04-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

friday went to frens house for a small gathering then after that went to MoMo to celebrate my campmate 21st birthday...the place was like a ghost town...haha...the amount of crowd is so less that i can lie on the floor to slp if i wish too....haha...drank alot that night...bday boy order two 3 litres martell while we only got around 15 peoples like that...haha..drink until totally drunk also cant finsh the both bottle...haha...enjoy alot with them...but when going home i found out something so became moody...haha...thanks for your console..you know who i'm refering to...haha...then sat morning wake up and help father then rot the afternoon off...evening time meet poly sch mate and went to paris ris park to celebrate my poly frens birthday...eat quite alot and disturb alot...after that then went back yishun to find frens...acutally was thinking of going to lim chu kang to watch ppl race bike but in the end something happen then it was cancel off and i head home....today rot the whole day only evening time meet frens to have dinner and roam around...but did alot of stupid and fun thing...haha...tml sch is starting...although feel very bore about it but no choice have to do it....Hope that Tml Will Be A Better Day.....

隐隐约约好象发现了某些不应该发现的事情...因而导致到整个人感觉很忧郁, 很不开心...真的很希望我发现的一切是错的,一切都是我胡思乱想出来的...我不断的告诉自己要放开胸怀, 但是这个问题一直在我脑海里不停的在转让我很烦恼很懊恼....我想唯一的解决方法就是希望我可以继续的自我催眠下去吧....

2007-04-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

thur met frens and went to mind cafe at Dhoby Ghaut but by the time we reach there the cafe was full already so we went to Mr Bean to have supper and chat at that....we started saying ghost story until 3++ we decided to go to punggol way to find the haunted house there...when we reach there we find a path in then we walk around the place...it was quite scary but we saw nothing until one of my fren decided to climb in then he said he saw nothing but when he jump down my other fren said he felt someone pulling his hair from the place my fren climb so he faster hurry us out...all of us felt nothing and only he felt it...so suay of him and he reach the punggol jetty then he told us...so scary..haha...after we explore the jetty we went home around 5am++...then Fri morning 11am++ wake up and help father than went to gym....after went home and took a rest...then evening time meet them have dinner then wait for everyone and went to woodland a muti-story car to watch peopl to drfit their mini cars...haha...quite nice and quite fun of it...and they decide to form a small team of it too...haha...after that went to have supper then went to mind cafe....on the way there nearly crash but lucky my fren skill is good and we do alot of stupid thing along the way....haha...reach there and order food and drinks then we started a game...not a bad place to relax and play...but quite stressful to use brain in the middle of the night and we spoil the hammer there...haha...too rough to play those games...haha...but then it was quite fun there and we disturb alot of peoples there too...haha....after that we went rounding and to catch couple doing bussiness in the car....haha...did alot of crazy things....haha..it was fun....reached home around 5am++ again...then today 11am++ wake up help father again...after met fren at coffeeshop to chat then met my sister, xueping and princess to bugis....while waiting for my sister serene came and we went to seah st to visit the Toy Museum...haha...alot of old old toys and alot of funny toys...not a bad place but entrance is abit expensive....haha....but can think back alot of toys i use to buy when i was young...then after that went to have Thai dinner then walk arounf the town...went home 10pm++ then sent the princess weini home then wait for my brothers to call...but in the end they went to fren house to visit fren baby...so in the end stay at home and watch Tv...haha...not a bad this few days...quite happy and enjoy it....haha...new weeks is coming...Hope To Have A Better Week.....

最近在报纸上读到刘德华有提到这一句话 : "凡事顺其自然, 遇了处之泰然, 得意之时淡然, 失意之时坦然, 艰辛曲折必然, 历尽沧桑悟然." 读了之后我觉得这一句话很有道理....因为它突显出了人在遇到什么时候或状况时, 应该有的面对新情和对策....或许人只要能做到这一句话的精髓, 那么我想人就可以过的更快乐更知足吧....

2007-04-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

sunday morning wake up and went to pray for my ah gong...only a handful of kids were there but..maybe too early liao alot cannot wake up...haha..after that went home take a rest then afternoon meet xinying, my sister and Princess to bishan junction 8 to watch movie "Mr Bean"...the cinema was so crowd and was almost full...i sat the front 4 row...watch until my neck pain...haha...but overall not a bad movie and it was very funny and i laugh from the start till the end of the show...after watching the show i thought of the a hokkien sentence "天公疼傻瓜"...haha..life can be blessing even if you are blur or stupid...haha...after the show the girls went home and i went to meet my frens at coffeeshop to have dinner...then after dinner we went under a block to chat and disturb people...then around 1 plus then went home...monday morning wake up help father do stuff then went gym...then meet all my brothers in the evening as it is Zhixiong birthday...went to sunshine plaza for dinner then went to parklane for snooker session while i went to play games...maybe is too long nv play liao...havent even reach the last stage i die le...haha...so lousy of me but nvm...too old for arcade games...played for sometime until everyone reach then we went to boat quay to celebrate zhixiong bday...the best is the he keep want to siam from me cos he know he sure drunk and he know i sure the first to make him drunk...haha...drank 3 1/2 martell and 3 jars of beer...nearly everyone is drunk...haha...in the end i do the job of makeing everyone vomit and drunk before going home...in the end only left me and 3 of my brothers never vomit...haha...even the girl are drunk and 1 of them actually vomit..haha...cause she stubborn dont want to let me help her drink when she lose the game...haha..but she is very sporting cause she lose she drink never wanted to run away or what...haha...respect her...haha...the birthday boy should be very happy and enjoyed ba...and this mean this year my bday i going die again...haha..and the strange thing is everyone want to see me drunk...dont know why...haha...but too bad none of them can do the job well...wahaha....enjoy the night with them and i hope this can continue forever....haha...so grate to meet them as my brothers....a new week has start...Hope To Have A Nice And Better Week......

每个人都希望可以有完美的一天....每个人也都希望可以有快乐的一天....但是何为完美何为快乐....
怎么才算完美....? 怎么才算快乐呢....? 人就是不懂的知足所以才不会快乐,才不会觉的完美....正所谓知足长乐, 人一但懂得知足那么快乐和完美就应该离他不远了吧....

2007-03-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

Feel so bore...so come to blog...Sat went to sentosa with brothes and friends....a very fun trip although not all brothers came and some were late...but i enjoy it quite alot in the end....woke up 8.45am then faster called some will-be-late comer...then i bath and prepare myself then went out early to 732 to meet guowen as he just release from work and reach early....meet everyone 9.30am but in the end 10++ then ppl mostly reach and are ready...in the end after buying drinks and food around 11++ then move off.....reach the beach around 12pm then found a place to settle down then is havoc time...haha...disturb alot alot of ppl and self entertain alot...haha...abit gangster the beach liao...haha...no much girl dare to come close us to tanned...haha...then around 5pm we decide to go off and went for dinner....went to AMK 608 for the Botak John western food...queue for about 20 min then wait the food about 45 mins....damn long queue and alot of ppl sia...but the food is not bad la...and is huilong recommand one....after that went home and plan for movie session but in the end no tickets for the show on near cinema and some of them was damn tired so in the cancel it....and i watch anime and knock out very soon....a very fun and havoc day for me...enjoyed it as no girls going with us and we can do alot of crazy thing...haha....then today wake up help out fathers then watch dvd until evening then went to TPY sake sushi to have dinner with family after that then went home...a new week is starting...Hope to have a Better Week..and A Better Days Aheads...

曾经以为等待会改变什么, 但是最后时间证明了在有毅力的等待也改变不了什么...我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说的话, 你真心说的每一句话...这一切只怪我没有爱情的天分,所以才得不到你的爱...我渐渐的自我催眠, 但却回不到从前....现在我对你的幽默, 只是看到你时为了掩饰着心痛我的难过...我的呼吸微弱无法解脱, 我早该相信别人所说的命运捉弄....搞到现在倾盆大雨的夜里只有孤独和我天长地久.......

2007-03-22T22:09:00.000+08:00

Finally i got my result...luckily all pass and not too bad...and some subject got a stunt grade..haha..hope this can continue until gradute....and i got my new timetable...and i find it totally sucks...mon to wed all 8 am although thur 10am start but lesson until 9pm++ lo...wah lao...and mon until 4pm...and there goes my gym timing...haiz...fri no need sch is good but otehrs days too cramp liao...duno what the sch is thinking...lan lan have to bear with it until next semster...yesterday night went to meet zhixiong and monyet and went geylang for supper...ate alot of dim sum until quite full...should be quite happy one..but in the end my frens kana fine for parking not in carpark lot...haha..duno what stupid Rule 3...and 50 dollar gone...2 car so is 100 dollar...fuck lo..plus the dim sum bill 100 over dollar...haiz...so suay lo...haha...after that then went to Dam to chat and wait for huilong and fuxing to join us....chat until early morning then went home...then today rot at home the whole day...damn boring lo...tml think is a rotting day again...faster sat then i can meet alot of my brothers and friends to Sentosa....haha....Hope to Have A Great Day.....

人都是孤独的...在茫茫人海中孤独地上路, 似乎有方向又似乎没有, 似乎找到出口又似乎一切皆在虚无之间...可是人又不甘寂寞, 他需要别人的认同, 来寻找生命的价值....
但人又是自私的...在寻求自我认同的时,往往会践踏别人的需要, 甚至在诋毁和嘲笑他人的过程当中, 来满足自己存在的价值, 或突显得自己有深度而高尚了...所以人与人之间的相处是非常难得到共鸣的.....

2007-03-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

1 week passes...enjoy quite alot this week...wed night met frens and went to loyang Dua Pei Gong to pray then went to Dam to chat and di siao siao....thurs went swimming then at night met frens and went to Sentosa to try the new cafe at the beach...the atmosphere is not bad but the way in is abit too long and the drink and food there is very expensive...but not bad la ofr a beach cafe...after that went dam and talk cock and eat supper...haha...friday went gym...then after that meet frens to bugis then went to snooker session...then start deciding place to go for about 1 hours++...haha..damn bore lo...in the end some of them went geylang to do thing and went Lip disco while i zhixiong and monyet went to boat quay for drinks....later then others join us at boat quay and we celebrated 1 of my frens bday...drank alot and eat alot as we order chicken wings cake,"you tiao" and alot ar...and mix alot of drink...drink until the ktv pub close then we went to St James Power station...saw alot of frens there but due to damn drunk we didnt stay for long and we head home...sat morning wake up help father then rot until night then meet frens and celebrate Kimlong birthday...at Sultan at KTV pub...alot a havoc night...but i manage to stay sober and not drunk...while the bday was totally lost...haha..vomit until crazy...bet the waterfall kill him totally...haha..after that went 848 for supper cum breakfast then head home to rest..then today rot and rest at home the whole day...and the bday sms told me he hangover the whole day liao...haha..serve him rights..21 bday want to siam away from drinking in the end is always disater one...haha....long time never drink so much le...maybe is old le..body cannot take it liao...now abit scare liao...haha...but i know others will not let me go easily one when drinking...cause all of them cant win me...haha....new weeks coming...and net sat planned to meet all my brothers for sentosa trip.....Hope To Have A Better Week...Better Day....

我不了解上天在想什么...上天到地想要的是什么....上天既然要人完美无缺,但在创造人时却又给予不完整的形态....如此一来人要如何在不完美的开始创造完美呢.....?? 这是一个迷,一个解不开的迷...一个只有上天才明白问题存在的迷....但上天却要人来解开这个迷....完美与不完美人又该如何选择呢....

2007-03-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

finally school holidays started....didnt really do much thing...only went gym and swimming everyday...haha...wanted to train a better body and for my May In Camp Training....so that i no need to go back camps for another 10 weeks for RT...haha...hope i can pass the test in camp....everynight meet frens either went to Dams if not around the singapore to chat and eat supper...not very meaningful but at least occupied la...last sat went to P.S to watch movie 300 duno what the la...a war fighting movie...quite nice and it make me think alot...then after that went to jalan kayu to eat and chat for a while then head home....sunday rot at home the whole day...until night then meet fren to Dam to chat...monday also the same...but we were discussing about something big...haha...once we got money we will do it....then we our boss ourself...haha...like dream but i like it...like a hope to the future or somehting...atleast something to think for...not blindly everyday live my life off until the day i found out i am going to die....haha...haiz...Really Hope To Have A Better Day...A Better Lifestyle.....

看着天在下雨, 心情突然就闷了起来...一阵冷风吹过突然让我觉得心里有不开心和失落的感觉....看着灰色的天,一滴一滴冷冷的雨从天而降...我的心就随着它的旋律不停的在颤抖...仿佛雨滴牵动了我的心....这是一种好失落的感觉,另我很讨厌这种感觉....也不知道为什么会这样就好突然....好突然...................

2007-03-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

Finally today i had my last paper...feel so good about it...now only can hope that i can pass all my subject then next semster no need to retake subject...and holiday started now until april...so long duno for what.....2 more years to go..what a long time to pass....wed went zouk/phuture drink abit...zouk is not bad...but phuture is damn pack until i no space to even stand...nearly wack a fucking idiot....lucky i was in a good mood...haiz...dont think will go there in the near future...cause too pack le..really cannot stand ti sometime....maybe is old le...like KTV pub more...less pack and can drink more..haha...bought ToTo but never even kana a single number...wah biang eh....not even one lo...really no fate in betting thing...or gambling...haiz...10 millions gone...like a dream...haha....suan le la...it is friday night and i at home...so boring...haiz....dont even know what to do...purely rotting at home..tml is sat maybe it will turn out to be a better one......Really Hope to have a better day....

上天是很公平的,只要是你的就是你的,他不会少给你也不会强行夺走....但如果不是你的,不管你多么强求或多么渴望,上天是不会给你的....这一切讲求的就是缘份...生死有命,富贵在天...这句话我非常赞成,也非常同意.....不是我要相信命运,是命运让我不得不去相信它....掌握在我手的只是机会能不能成事就要看老天了.....

2007-02-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

我曾经听过有人说缘就是聚,份就是离...聚聚离离都是缘份,能聚在一起就是缘,会分离也就是无份,不管是有缘还是无份,这些都是我无控制无法或预测的...有句话说"不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有..."虽然每一个人包括我在内都希望能一辈子拥有,但是能够拥有一辈子的又能有几个....所以不去期望,不去渴望可能才可以保持那一份永久...至于缘份就听天由命吧...所谓生死有命富贵在天...一在的勉强,痛苦的我想也是自己吧...缘份这东西就交给上天去处理算了,至于我呢就开开心心过我的生活吧...

2007-02-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

friday had my first paper Electric Circuit...quite a easy paper i can say...so it will be a sure pass subject...haha...then at night met frens and went to Rev Zone for chat...then went to jalan kayu for roti prata...the roti prata there really sucks not like the last time...the standard drop alot...then after eating went to Dam for chat and disturbing time...haha...disturb some young bikers and fool around...sat at home watched dvd...and i find the movie by ekin zheng is nice...it is about a gangster where he went to jail for 8 years and went he is out no one in the world believe that he has turn over a new leaf....a very sad ending but quite a nice show...it show that the society dont really accept people when they did something wrong and not given them a chance to be good again...cos they think that once wrong always wrong....and i hate this kind of people and thinking....but no choice i only a very tiny part in the society....haiz....haha...then eveing time met frens for dinner and Lao Yu Sheng as it is 7th day of chinese new year and it is everyone birthday...then went to frens house to fool around then met somemore frens and went to Loyang Dua Pei Gong to pray...then after that went to PS and watch moive Hannibal rising...it is a very disgusting movie and totally not scarey....just purely disjusting...not a very good movie i think...as there is nothing surpise me or make me egar to watch...haha...then after that went back yishun for supper at 848 and rest and chat until 6am as my frens need to be awake as he need to reort to camp....haha...then sunday meet frens and went to Mac to study math...but totally cannot get into my mind so a wasted one....then meet frens for dinner then went home to rest and sleep...very shag and tired i was like fainted like that...then today Math paper...wah...a fucking diffcult paper...when i open the paper my mind totally went blank and i know this time shit big time...haiz...didthe first 5 question and last 3 i did half only..think i will fail this paper...die liao la...now can only hope that overall result i will pass my math...if really fail i think i will quit sch or what le la...cannot endure anymore le...what a fuck up paper...everyone also agrees with me...haiz....2 paper down...1 more to go....must study this paper well..if not my weekend will suck big time....Really Hope For A Better And Nice Day...And Will Pass My Exam.....

一个人只要犯下过一次错,这一辈子就会被人断定是错的....一点机会也不给他改过,只会一直的怀疑他讽刺他....难道他就不想改过吗...他就不想被人接受吗...是人都希望被人信任被人接受,但他只是不小心或无知时犯下了错,难道这样就应该被人判永远的死刑吗....给人一个改过的机会真有那么难吗.....没有经理过的人我想是不会明白的吧....

2007-02-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

Had a busy week and busy New Year i had...had alot of fun this chinese new year...monday went to meet frez and went to boat quay for a drink...had a hell load of it...and everyone is enjoying...then wed went to meet campmate and went to Chinatown a KTV pub for some drinks then after that went to MOS and enjoyed until morning 5am....had a hell lot of drinks too....and some unlucky stuff happen but luckliy i manage to settle it peacefully....then thur meet frez for chat then in the end ended up at boat quay again...this time i drank not much as i felt sick of drinking le...haha...then friday afternoon met frez and went shopping...had a tiring day....haha...and ended up with nothing... sat morning help my parent to pray then clean my room for the whole afternoon then help my mother for the dinner...ate alot until i cannot stuff any more food...haha...then at night help out my parent for the praying...after that went to meet frez for moive...watched Protege 门徒...i can say i a very nice show...and andy lau is so pityful...quite enjoyed the show....then sunday morning wake up bath change then went to my 2nd uncle house for the family gathering....eat play drink alot...until quite late then went to my brother house to play then went to my mother side gathering until 8++pm...then meet frez and went to a frez house to play and gamble...unil 3++am i went home and they continue until 6++am...haha...monday went to my far relative house until 3++pm then head home and i took a rest....then went to meet frez to visit a frez then went to boat quay for drinking session...haha...Tue organise a big gathering for brothers and frez....as we every year also got gathering for new year....meet up at 4++ then went to Toa payoh for our reunion dinner...30++ people was present....too bad a few of them need to work...enjoyed the dinner then went to Parklane Kbox and sing drink play...drink until every male was drunk...cos the female need to drive the car...haha...selfish right...haha...ennjoy the night alot...although spent alot of time and effort plus alot of scolding to organise the gathering but i am very happy about it...no matter what had happen it is a very fun and happy day for me...and i think everyone think the same...and there will be the gathering every year...cause without this loads of brother and friends i think there wont be me...haaha...I LOVE YOU ALL....haha...Happy Chinese New Year To All......

手心是肉,手背也是肉...不管伤的是那一边最终痛的人一定是我...有些东西我也不想去做, 但是不去做, 这个事情是不会解决的....它只会一直的困扰着我...只希望你不要怪我, 因为我做的这一切都是为了大家好...至于你了不了解, 或明不明白我无话可说,我也没有办法去控制...

2007-02-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

thurs had my first exam paper and i think that i will fuck it up cause it is something like english...haha..then friday met friends for drinking session at boat quay and i drown myself real hard...haha..a fun night i can say...then sat went to my grand ma house as it is her bday and celebrate with her...ate alot of good food and disturb alot of cousins...haha...then night met frez and went to thomson for supper then went to Dam for late night chatting....then sunday morning wake up and went to help songhua to shift house....frm morning 11 shift until late afternoon 5++ 6 like that...wah...damn tired sia...as there is quite alot of stuff and there is 2 place need to shift...so tired that after that went back home 10++ i slept liao..haha..then monday morning went swimming and rot at home until night then went to meet frez and went to boat quay to drink again..this time worst...drank more...haha...long time never this drunk le...haha...a fun night and did alot of fun stuff...haha...then today rest at home whole day....tml will be meeting campmate so i think is drinking again...haiz..sometime wanna to cut down something is hard...haha...and chinese new year is near...Hope To Have A Nice New Year.....

这个地球的转动不是为了任何人, 所以即使地球少了我,她也不会停止转动....生死有命,富贵在天...有时候人不认命也很难, 强制性的去逆转你的命运换回来的一定是更惨痛的代价...有时候做人真的是不知道该这么办才好....听天由命吧.....

2007-02-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

friday went out to meet frez and headed to Tanjong Pagar as my frez still have some balance left at the ktv pub...what a hell is the place sia...it is a lam sum bar...haha...and the drinks there taste funny one...not a very good place and i felt very weird there...so we faster finish the balance and head to geylang a mini nightclub like that and treat it like normal ktv...haha...but we reach there late so havent even really enjoy the place it is closing already....then suddenly my frez went to find his frez and he roam around geylang so in the end i went to Boat quay to find frez at White Bar and drink quite alot until the pub is closing but my frez dont wish to head home so we went to a disco "97" at orchard...the place is super havoc...full of uncles but with alot of pretty girls..haha..so like last time Canto...haha...and the place plays techno music...is a super ah beng place haha...it is since long time i went to place like this le...abit familiar and fun...haha....drank alot there and did some havoc thing there...then morning 6am++ then reach home...what a day....then sat wake up super early to help father then rot until evening then meet frez for dinner and went to Dam to chat until morning...then sunday met some frez went to orchard a walk and my frez went for shopping...then in the end went to watch movie JACK ASS and it is totally fucking lame movie but it was damn funny...and very disgusting sometime....then today went for a morning swim then orchard to buy something then went tyo gym...what a tired day...and i ended up buying nothing..haha...so need to find and buy my new year clothes some other day....Hope To Have A Better Day Ahead.....

曾经我以为没有爱情是可以生存的...但随着年龄慢慢的成长我发现到爱情原来是维持生命的其中一种元素...而不只是竟有的亲情和友情...但我发现的时候已经晚了...我的心已经死了,已经冰封了...已经在也没有勇气容得下爱情了....这辈子没有比不能在爱的感觉更令人心痛...

2007-01-27T00:45:00.000+08:00

it is friday...time pass so fast...so glad that i had finish all my project...no more project only left with exam and exam..faster finish it then holiday will come... just now went out to meet campmates to have dinner and watch a moive title "Happy Birthday" <<生日快乐>> by louis koo and rene liu....quite a nice show..quite touching also and the ending is very sad...the way they met together then apart then together then miss eachother...the script is not bad and the fliming is not bad too....and louis koo is so handsome in the movie and rene liu is prettier than ever in the movie...and she resemble someone i knew long ago...the way she speak laugh so much familiar to me...too bad now i lost contact to her and her birthday is coming soon...wanted to wish her happy birthday also cannot...too bad...but nevermind la since it is quite some time le...haiz...hope that she is happy now and enjoying herself...so boring...Hope tml is a better day...

人真的是很脆弱的东西...明明看起来很精神很健康但是不知道为何会突然生病然后倒下....人生真的是难以猜测难以捉摸...

2007-01-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

last friday went out supper with then went to Dam for chat until morning then went home...sat met frez for dinner then went to do some stuff and in the end, ended up at boat quay cause friend gf bday...drink abit..and is was fun and nice until the last part duno why suddenly 2 of my frez start to kiss another guys...haha...disgusting but quite a good show...as my frez was like being rape...haha...even the boss of the pub join in the fun..and for a french kiss..haha...so disgusting and they can play until so happy..haha..lucky i was the one seeing the show...haha...arbo duno go where to die...sunday went to met frez for dinner then went home to rest...and today finally finish my Tech drawing lesson...yes..this mean no more lesson anymore..haha...so good....so monday onwards mean no more sch for me...and the sch day is cutting lesser and lesser...feel so good...just finish watching a hongkong drama..the last esp is very touching...make me think of something else...haiz...but overall a nice drama....today is not a bad day..Hope tml will be a Better one....

sometime i just find that i treat you too good...too good until you treat me for granted..cause you know i wont leave you alone or ignore and you are getting more and more overboard...maybe i should just let it be...treat everything like normal...not too good not too bad then you wont be like that anymore...and let you grow up yourself and go throught some hardship then you will realise how much i give in to you everytime...and realise your mistake.....too bad i just cant bring myself to do it....you are so lucky....

地球上有上亿万的人,要在人海茫茫中寻找一个你爱她,她又爱你的人真的很难....在寻找的过程当中,往往找到的都是你爱她但她又不爱你的人....到最终你会成全她,让她开心,让她自由...然后只因她快乐所以你快乐来继续生活...难道这就是伟大的爱情吗....真是自私.....

2007-01-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

time pass so fast...a week had passes...everyday just went sch and gym until friday meet frez for supper and some late night chat and head back home...sat wake up help parent then watch DVD..then suddenly my cousin came and she watch DVD with me...the strange thing is that she got chair dont want to sit and like to stand and stand for around 1 hour...haha...so funny and strange of her...haha...then night meet frez went town for a walk then billard then went to boat quay for some drinking...drink alot that night and everyone is enjoying...so it is good night...after that we change place and drink again...until 4++ then head home cause the organiser was dead drunk and need to head home fast or else he will sleep every where he goes...haha....sunday went to celebrate my father bday at a resturant at chinatown...the food is not bad but the servive sucks...the manager like very not happy like that when we order our food...so stupid lo...not happy go home sleep la..why work right...haha...but at least the food is not bad la...after that went to buy stuff and went home...then meet frez cause something happen so went to look for frez at boat quay then find a pub to relax after that then went home....and today is not a very good day for me...cause alot pek cek thing happen and i cannot use water cos my father spoil a tap...and the water need to be cut off...wah lao...so troublesome....lucky someone came and repair everything arbo duno how to survive....Hope That Tml Will Be A Better Day...

没有比不能在爱的感觉, 更令人心痛...

2007-01-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

finally sch start...and it sucks...so many projects to complete and hand up...more and more dont have the feeling to go to sch and to study hard...haiz...going sch is really boring...but no choice still have 2 more years to endure it...hope time will pass fast on this...and got back 2 test marks luckily i pass both of it and left 1 more result...think will pass just whether high marks or low...so prepare for the worst for the project...lucky this week still quite smooth for me...nothing big really happen...fri went to Mdm Wong at central mall...although not as happening at it was when it was at sultan...but then not bad la..not very pack but quite alot of girls and drinks are quite cheap...just that it play Retro which i dont like...overall a place still can go and relax...then after that went to St James Power Station and havoc the place...haha...enjoy until quite early in the morning then went home...sat afternoon rest at home then evening time went to meet frez for a expensive but not that nice dinner...then meet frez and ended up at Kbox to relax the night...quite fun la...cos got a crazy frez keep doing stupid thing and compete with another frez see who sing more nicer...haha...today rest at home the whole day watch tape and DVD...tml sch again...have to wake up so early again...but aleast tml i will get my pay...so quite happy about it...Hope To Have A Better Week....

我要的不是长生不老,或是住在永恒国度...我想要的只是能够开心快乐的过一生,即使是短暂的我也愿意,并且付出一切代价来换取我想要的生活...

2007-01-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

finally a new year has started...a new start ahead hope to have a better year...and times fly it is already 1 year since i had ORD...and is 23 year old this year...must work more hard for the days ahead and no more child play...strive for the best...last week is a very hard week for me...alot of things happen but i manage to overcome it and live with it peacefully...althought i dont really like this way but no choice...hope 2007 wont be like this anymore...haha...christmas i was working so never enjoy it...so wed i went to enjoy...at first wanted to go zouk/phuture but when i reach there phuture was already full house and it was only 10++ only...and i dont really like zouk music so in the end went to St James Power Station...not as big as i imagine but not bad la..not a bad place...and some of the disco is quite cheap although it is quite small but quite cosy...so in the end ended drinking alot...and also cause very long time never drink le...so once start it wont stop...haha...then fri my work contract ended so went to do some stuff and at night went to friend grandmother funeral...then sunday early in the morning went to friend grandmother funeral to help out...after that went to buy food and equipment for the last min New Year Celebration BBQ...haha..although it is quite rush but it was very fun and i enjoyed it alot..as alot of friends attended and enjoy themself...did alot of funny thing and disturb quite alot of stranger...haha...it was fun night although simple...drink quite alot also...think everyone enjoyed the night also...only 1 or 2 of them had self problem and never really enjoyed....haha...sometime just dont know what the fuck they thinking...haha...and tml decide to buy something for myself for rewards for the hardship i had been last year and for a good start for the new year..haahaa...think thru alot and been thru alot last year...hope the New Year Will Be Better And Smoother....

想了很多,也经历了很多...慢慢发现到原来这世界上有很多东西是没有办法去改变的...即使不肯承认,不去接受,但最后事实的结果永远是不会变的...在不甘愿在不死心你都得必须承认这就是事实这就是真相...人有时侯真的是没有办法赢过命运赢过天意...有时侯真的即使明白了自己本身也接受不来...做人好..做人难...做人辛苦...做人究竟是为了什么呢...我真的不明白....

2006-12-27T09:22:00.000+08:00

really really disappointing in my parent...not just that they never keep their promises...they like never even care about how i feel...if they really think so little and useless of me why not kill me in the first place when i was born....sometime really dont know what they thinking and what they really want...the more i give in the more they go overboard...i really cannot stand it liao la...they really hurt me this time and really is alot...but i dont think they knew it....never never felt so disappointed in them before....haiz...i already try very hard to be good le...everything follow what they say...go study and go work...but they just not happy about it...even i have good grade they also feel not enough...they want money so i work...i work 5 days 60 hours le...standing and rushing everyday and even work until injury my back and hand...and all i want was to take 2 off day to rest and recover my back but in their eyes i am lazy dont want to work and cannot stand hardship...and they actually tell others that i am lousy and useless cause cant even stand working...and they think that i did not heard it....just because i keep quiet doesnt mean i not hurt....just because i never earn enough money home..and when study i no income this mean i am uselss...but the fact is that it is them who want me to study not me ok...i wanted to work cause i know study surely there will be alot of problem one...but they all promise that they will help me...but in the end they break all the promise they make...and even still wanted me to do more what i have expected....haiz...and they can just say this kind of thing...never even spare a thought for me...never even care how i feel....i also human right..also got feeling one ma...not just because i am their son i wont argue or blame them they can like that say ma....this really hurt alot...never praise or reward nevermind liao i use to it liao...but aleast dont step on it ma....dont they know how painful it is....someone you most care and concern step on you...sometime i really dont know the meaning of still living in the world is for what...really really disappointed in them liao...dont know what to ask for more....dont even dare to hope for a better day.........

伤心绝望...不知道该怎么做才对才好....我想只能够好无意义的生活下去吧....我终于明白什么是生死有命,富贵在天....

2006-12-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

finally common test ended...and holiday start...had a very harsh week...alot of thing happen but i manage to survive it..thanks to my cousin Princess who acc me when i breakdown...haha...Thanks alot...thur last paper and intend to go malaysia but the trip was cancel due to something happen so in the end ended up at Vivo City and town area...a very tired day....then friday rot at home until night then went to watch movie....had something new that day..and i was not a bad experience...i like it quite alot...haha...then sat went for friends birthday celebration at cineleisure Kbox...and gave him a surpirse...haha...sing and chat until 12++ then went to east coast to find friend then chat and roam around singapore....sunday rot until night then met friend went for supper then roam around singapore again...went orchard Tower to shit..haha..went boat quay to stroll..went to cineleisure to buy things...just a very lame night la..haha...and after so much early morning activites now i feel abit sick liao...haha...everyday slept not more than 5 hours...and today still went gym...really tired liao...haha...and hope tml not raining so that i can go for my swim....quite a busy week and a very harsh week....cause mentally there is alot of thing i cannot accept...the world is really killing me...pushing me to the edge and forcing me to jump down...worst still is that my parent dont even understand abit..haiz...just dont and not sure what to do....Hope For A Better Day....

这辈子不管做多少永远都是不够的...不管尽多少力,花多少心血都没有人会感激的...每一个人都认为是理所当然的...有时候我真的很累了...坚强的太久好疲惫...真想醉了就在也不会醒来...一直沉睡在自我催眠当中...

2006-12-11T23:06:00.000+08:00

what a fuck up week i had...unlucky thing happens...feeling so fuck up so sad...haiz...still regret of the thing i had done...so fuck up...so much happen just in a week...friends in trouble...this and that..and there is nothing i can really do about it...somemore common test start today...lucky the most tough paper Math is finish...if not i dont know how to take the paper with this fuck up feeling...2 more paper to go hope can really take it smoothly...then holiday and i bet the holiday wont be as happy it will be...actually plan something on holiday but think have to cancel it due to some problem....sometime i really wonder i went back to study is a right choice or not...i keep hypnotise myself that it is a right choice but people around me and the reality keep proving me wrong...haiz...this is a very important step in my life and i dont wish to make a mistake....really hope that it is not a wrong choice...if not i think i will breakdown and collaspe very soon....feeling so sad now....nothing seem to be right since my birthday till now...did a wrong thing and so many things happen...maybe 22 year old is not my year...haiz...what i really want is a simple life...yet simple is so hard to achieve...seem so near but yet very very far....really dont know what to do and to dream of anymore...dont even dare to dream of having someone to hold me when i collaspe...just hope a nice and smooth day..really nothing much...having the feeling stucking inside really kills...and i know reaching the state of breaking down isn't far....really Hope For A Better Day....

想要成功就要付出同等的努力,想要幸福就要付出一些代价...至于要付出多少的努力和代价,不是任何人可以评估的....我只想要简单开心的过着每一天,但往往我所付出的努力和代价,永远都不够....不管付出了多久它就是不够,我讨厌这种无奈感....心里的痛让我觉的好辛苦...特别是没有眼泪的我...

2006-12-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

30 more min and it is my birthday...the day when i was born 22 years ago and the day where my mum suffer alot...Thanks her alot for giving birth me to this world to enjoy and goes through life...must be hard on her...22 years le..birthday seem more and more meaningless to me...only remind me that i was born on this date and i am older...so i will have to face more and more problem...birthday doesnt make me excited or seriously happy anymore...it is a day that i know i must enjoy and thanks my mum...other than that it doesnt mean anything le....maybe the older i get the feeling get more bland ba...or maybe when i am 60 then i will look more forward to it...thing are always hard to say...this few days not really feeling right...everything seem not right...feeling so fuck up...did some wrong thing and abit regret it...and alot of thing havent done so abit regret it..seem like going to break down soon but yet physical still very strong...maybe i just dont know what i really want...nothing much in mind only Hope To Have A Better And Nice Day....

随着年龄的成长人需要面对的问题就越来越多,有时侯真的很希望可以一辈子不会长大不会成长,永远是个小孩子那么的无忧无虑的生活,可能这样才会开心快乐...小时候想长大,长大后却想回到过去...人真的是那么的矛盾...经历了那么多年我到现在都还不了解自己想要的是什么,更何况是别人...

2006-12-03T13:27:00.000+08:00

What a harsh week...have to do everything on my own luckily it has pass...hope the following week is nice...everyday is just so boring and meaningless...until yesterday cause i am celebrating my birthday with my best friends...have a wonderful and havoc night...drink until i vomit and really vomit alot of times...so long never vomit then yesterday vomit and everyone is happy about it...haha...everyone just wan to see me vomit dont know why...1 person drink with 7 people surely is killing me...who can don't vomit...haha..dont know open how many bottle of martell lucky all my brothers and friends chip in the money...haha...and the boss keep giving me red wine...haha..in the end drunk very very drunk...but i was happy to see all my friends all enjoying...a very good night...Thanks all my brothers and friends...the only day in the week i really enjoy and laugh...and i did something i wanted to do for a very long time and i did it...haha..disturbing surely is fun...then this morning i was nag by my parent...so sad...first thing first is being nag...haiz...i try my best to do alot of thing liao but they just not happy with it...no matter what i did it is always not right something just will be wrong...try hard yet not recognize is sad...haiz...they sometime just dont understand...they just dont know how much i have give up to be what i am now...if not for my brothers/friends i think i wont be here and i dont know what i will be like...sometime really dont understand just what they want...i really hate this feeling...wanted to cry but it just wont come out...the tears system seem to have malfunction...haha...haiz...next week going the to be my extact birthday date...Hope The Week Will Nice And Smooth....Hope I Will Strike 4D....

我渐渐的学会了自我催眠...虽然我明白催眠也会有醒来的一天,但是现实不得不让我学会了自我催眠...现实真的是很残酷的...希望和现实永远都不会相同...既然知道不会可能一样那么为何又要希望呢....人真的是很奇怪....

2006-11-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

just a simple and plain week passes...nothing much happen...only weekdays met some secondary sch mate for dinner and chatting...friday went to help frez to shift house...sat morning went to send my parent to airport as they went to taiwan for holidays...then in the evening met my campmate for dinner then roam around town area then went to Dbl O...dont know why i felt that the crowd there change alot..all funny funny one..not the same when i went last time...but still enjoy cause i keep disturbing people..haha...then went to boat quay to find friend cause i promise to go down find him and her...haha..drank not much but dont know why get abit drunk...maybe cause of the heart wanted to get drunk ba...then suddenly saw alot of old times friends and chat with them...then went to have supper then went home...woke up around 9++ dont know why just cant sleep..then met friend and ate dinner...a week had just passes so fast so sliently....dont know why just not feeling right...the feeling really sucks cause no matter do what also seem like something is wrong...haiz...bet the following week will be a harsh one until sat ba...really Hope For A Better Day Better Week....

眼泪是人类表露心情的一种方式...开心也流泪,不开心也流泪...上天在创造眼泪时并没有给它一个定义...那么人在流泪时应该开心还是不开心呢...我不明白因为我已经渐渐的失去了那种感觉...那种当应该流泪时就会流泪的感觉...但我的心里剩下的都是麻木的感觉...可能眼泪对我来说是一种奢侈吧....

2006-11-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

Quite a busy week cause did alot of thing and sch is getting more and more stress...dont know whether can surive or not...haha..hope i can...friday went to Poly class gathering at Marina South for steamboat session...met debbie and deyuan also...both also never change abit esp debbie, still the crazy girl i used to know..haha...not a bad outing as i dont seem anything is wrong and we played quite alot...after that went to meet friend for drinking again...and it is a very relax drinking session as i promise my princess cannot drown although i still got drink...haha...
enjoy the first part of the session only when later part something happen and everyone mood changes so abit not that enjoying but still a good one...then sat meet friend for billard and in the end ended up drinking again...and it was quite a fierce one cause saw some long time friend and fight for the last one standing...haha...in the end some vomit some became moody...but i enjoy it alot as i got some surprise by someone...haha...and some unsettled problem was settled...so everyone was drunk but everyone enjoyed the night...maybe only left 1 friend got moody cause the something but manage to console him to forgive and forget everything...then today only went for dinner and met friend to chat under block after they went to temple to pray and i went home...can consider not a bad week cause alot thing was settled and only left my princess problem...although sorry i can't do anything for her...but i will keep supporting her as long as i can...if she need my help...we make a pact right ben ben...haha...Hope you can have a wonderful day and Hope I Can Have A Nice Day....

有一首诗是这样的 "我在你的眼里看见了流下的泪水,于是我明白了人生有时辛苦有时流泪,并不是一件坏事..." 我只想说人生本来就是会有起起落落, 不管是起还是落这都是我们毕竟要经历的的过程...既然明白了那为何又不要开心的去面对这一切呢...开心的面对总好比伤心的去经历了然后让自己更不开心吧...上天就是要我们经历这些才肯给我们幸福和快乐,才让我们觉得这才是完美的人生....既然如此那为何又不开心面对呢...

2006-11-12T22:36:00.000+08:00

Friday went to drink again...and this time is weixiong jio one...haha...so surprise...haha..those who know him will find it very hard to accept..haha..drank alot again...and mostly everyone is drunk...and some problem occurs but we manage to settle it...haha...met my ex-campmate and my ex-PC cos both of them just fall out of love and both the same way...try to console them and hope that they just dont think too much..cos thing already change, no matter what it wont be the same again...even now she is in other people hand you also have to accept it...although is hard but it is the truth...then duno why everyone start to talk alot and started to talk heart to heart...den discuss and tok alot of thing in the end the iron man start let his tears roll down..it really surprise me cos to me he is the iron man...but at least he dare to let it out...and able to let it out..so it is fine...not like me...dont really think everyone enjoy the day but should be a nice day cos nothing really happen...sat went to friend bday celebration at east coast resort...and manage to give her a surprise all thanks to her boyfriend planning...bday girl cried once she knew that the chalet is open for her and she cried non-stop...the whole chalet thing is plan without informing her and could really bluff her until the day...she so blur....she must be very touch by what her boyfriend did...think anyone will be touch also...haha...then after chalet went home and sms with my princess cos she forbid me to drink...haha..and i did it so no need to be punish...correct my princess...then today rot at home only watch anime and did nothing...just plainly waiting for tml to come...so boring...and just found out that my mum is also very blur lo...cos the house key is missing but she kept asking me and my sis who took the key but in the end the key is in her room...wah biang eh...she forgot she took the key and keep saying us...and dun wan to admit...so funny sia...in the end i kana nag for no reason...haiz...duno what i did wrong...haha...really Hope For A Better Day....maybe a Trouble Free Day....

在世界的一端有千千万万的人,为了没的吃饱喝足而感到害怕,而慢慢的饿死....
但在世界的另一端却有千千万万的人,因为吃太多而害怕肥胖而导致会带来的疾病....
这个世界真是奇怪,真是有缺公平...明明大家都是人但经理的遭遇却又那么的不一样...
现实真的是很残酷,只要在不对的时间,到不对的地方,遇上不对的人,什么事情都有可能发生,不管好坏...真希望能够拥有开心和幸福一辈子...

2006-11-06T21:51:00.000+08:00

sat went to drowning again...and this time 4 ppl drink 2 bottle again...haha...really can't cut down if you wan to...maybe i should just let it be...then slowly slowly it will cut down or else i think i wont live over 40 yrs old ba...haha...enjoy that day as i saw alot of frez and campmate which i dont usally meet...and my best brother told me he very long never drink until so happy liao...so it should be a nice day....and i went to eat very nice food...and thanks to my princess that day accompany on phone although awhile but i appreciate it...thanks ben ben...and it doesnt matter whether your advice works or not cause what matter is that i know that you care and it is enough...sorry if let you worry that day cause drowning can be forgetful...haha...i try not to let it happen again...haha...and i always will help with your problem and keep it a secrets...haha...remember our promise...haha...and with cousin serene also...haha...
and i just found out that my father is very funny...he hear someone knocking the door but he just wont go and open it but wait until the home phone ring den i went out to see den ask me to open...funny right...why father cannot open door meh...haha...dont know what is he thinking...dont know i old liao will like him or not...i hope not....just Hope For A Better Day....

我闭上眼睛就是天黑,一种撕裂的感觉,这种感觉一层层的撕裂我,想要把我摧毁...我曾经听过有人说缘就是聚,份就是离...聚聚离离都是缘份,能聚在一起就是缘,会分离也就是无份,不管是有缘还是无份这些都是我无控制无法预测的...有句话说"不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有..."虽然每一个人包括我在内都希望能一辈子拥有,但是能够拥有一辈子的又能有几个....所以不去期望不去渴望可能才可以保持那一份永久...至于缘份就听天由命吧...

2006-10-29T14:45:00.000+08:00

A tiring week...have been drinking for 3 days..mon, wed and fri...all 3 days also drink like hell...really crazy liao...really have to stop cos body really showing rejection...must try very hard to cut down if not surely wont live long...then yesterday went to seletar Dam for BBQ session with frez...it was quite fun and i enjoy it alot although i smell suck in the end...but chatting eating and joking is fun....sch was boring everyday not sure why i dont have the mood to sch anymore...dont know how to manage this semster result...hope can faster find back the mood...arbo sure fail one...and manage to settle the thing in my heart..and now felt lighter...not so moody anymore....only left a stupid best friend thing havent settle and he dont wish me to step in...cos he know once i do it he sure will regret and he know my style of doing thing but he just dont listen...think of it also dulan...know cannot still want to do...give him liao he dun wan...gone liao then sad...dont know what the fuck he is thinking...everytime just want to run away from problem and then act strong..and always think i dont know...haiz...den my ben ben princess also happen alot ar...haha...called me actually and do some stupid thing...haha...i know la it is our small secret...haha...another cousin also got problem i know but she just dont tell me...but i trust her to settle it herself cos she is more strong than anyone i knew...haha...suddenly alot of frez faces problem and alot i just cant do anything but see them sad see them losing hope....haiz...thing always dont happen the way you hope for...sometime you knew it but you just cant accept it...it apply to me too...really hope everything can end soon then happy days can come into my life again...really miss my teens day...where everyday is a hope...and the hack care feeling make my day happy....no matter is drinking, fighting clubbing, whatever la..it is just fun....haiz...never never will have that kind of day anymore...really Hope For A Better Day....

现时是很残酷的,很多东西你明明了解但望望就是接受不来...最后搞到自己又辛苦又伤心...但这又何必呢...明明知道但又要欺骗自己那不是很痛苦吗....很多事情都是事与愿违的,愿意相信,愿意期待,愿意等待,都不代表什么...最后的结果才是最重要的..不管最后随不随你的意愿你都得接受...因为那就是事实就是现时....

2006-10-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

a very tired week..monday lesson is so boring but manage to bear it thru...cos tue is holiday so went for drinking again...manage to jio alot of ppl and went to boat quay...at first idea is go to my frez's pub but then it was full due to opening so went to another and we order 3 bottle martell...have alot of fun cos i 1 person have to deal with 3 table of frez...drink until i nearly go crazy...haha..den in the end went to frez's pub cos of some misunderstanding and had to settle it...after settle it drink at there again...saw alot of friends that day so drank alot...after awhile some went to MoMo and some went to geylang but i stay as my best brother is still drinking and we wait for the boss...den suddenly he ki siao..he started to scold people...haha..he drink until fucking lost...and i have to stop him so in the end quarral abit with him...and saw him cry for the first time..even when he sentence to jail i also nv see him cry...now he cry cos of the woman...duno worth it or not...haiz...den tue relax at home only went for dinner...den Wed went to frez's pub again cos grand opening and he invited us...went there to eat and drink although dont intend to drink cos thurs got sch in morning...but in the end we 2 ppl drink 1 and a half bottle of martell..really crazy liao...and we somemore not very drunk..really must cut down ar...although i trying very hard but cant...haha...den went to settle something at other place and return frez pub to bill and den head home....den today is like hell so sleepy so tired...but manage to bear thru it...Hope Tml is A Better Day...haha..

我说过我不想见到你,不想在联络你,我真的做到了...虽然不是很愿意但这是最好的选择,因为拖泥带水只会让我更痛苦,所以我选择了放弃....所以我才狠的下心去骂你,然后不在理会你...最后一次看到你,我不知道你脸上的不开心是不是因为我但我满希望是...要不然这就证明了我在你心中根本不值得什么,根本不值得去伤心......

2006-10-22T12:42:00.000+08:00

Come to blog cause the ben ben princess nag me to update...haha...had a busy week cause sch start liao and my timetable alot is until 6pm or 5pm one...everyday early go sch den evening then go home...so tired sia...not use to it liao the 1 month holiday really is so relax and cosy....haha...then all the new teachers sucks..all like fuck up fuck up one...not like last Semesters all very good one but no choice it is already fix le so have to bear with it until next yr...hope can maintain good grade this time.....friday went drinking again and drank alot cos my friend is not happy about something so order alot and finish...and we actually went to alot of places....den in the end, ended up at DBL O...the crowd there change liao all strange strange one...not fun anymore..then saw frez there and we fight alcohol level...order 20++ nearly to 30 glass of SHOTs....drink until crazy...den my frez jio me drink Water Fall..fucking hot...too long nv drink Water Fall miss the taste alot...in the end we find DBL O too noisy so we change place to my frez pub Amber 21 at boat quay....order 1 jug beer and 1 martell...my frez crazy one told him drank alot liao beer enough he dun wan...so in the end drink until he and other frez vomit...haha...den we quarral about some small stuff and everyone mood is bad...we head home and quarral in cab until i so fucking sad...they just dont listen...haiz...and i did a wrong thing also i scold someone thru sms and phone..abit regret but i think it is a better choice...as someone dont listen to me....head home and slept den 12++ wake up cos meet my cousin at 2 to buy present for my cousin Serene as we are celebrating bday for her...in the end walk until 5 also can decide what to buy so ended up meeting them for dinner...had alot of fun there...food is nice...felt so relax with them...cos no need to think much...no need to worry much..den after dinner went to Esplande Roof terrace to cut the cake and enjoy the view...the view is very nice...and very windy...after that went to see the Merlion..and i did alot of stupid thing there...haha...den we decide to find a place to relax so went to boat quay Coffe Bean...and i brought my sister to my frez pub to take a look....after that we head home...although i very very Tired...the ben ben still ask me to send her home...and i did it even i very Tired...haha...nice right me...haha...then saw frez under block chatting so after sending her i chat wif them and discuss thing with them until 2++ and went home....but i just cant slp no matter how tired i am....haiz....hope i can forget everything....hope there will be a better day for me.....

有时候我觉的人为何不放下那份执着,好让自己也可以轻松快乐...比起活在痛苦中一直不段的回忆来的好上几百倍....学习自我催眠还是不够的...因为催眠,你有一天终究还是会醒...然后继续在回忆不堪的往事...最好的就是放掉所有不美好的回忆在也不要想起, 然后让时间治疗你的创伤然后慢慢在站起来继续生活....这世上真有忘情水吗...??

2006-10-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

it is a sat and i am at home...alone staring at the computer dont know what to do...felt so hopeless and sad...actually meeting frez liao and changed and just waiting for a call den went out...but then suddenly something happen and halt the timing in the end i wait until i abit dulan liao so decide to stay at home to rot..cos i know even i went out now i also wont feel happy and enjoy it...dont know why just dont feel right...something is in my heart and it felt so heavy and it keep pressing down on me...haiz...maybe this time i really done wrong...i really see too much into it...i fell too deeper into it...haiz....maybe i just need some time so get over it...maybe things that i think that is important dont even mean anything to people...maybe all the long i was wrong...maybe...maybe....so much maybe and none of it is right...what have i really done...where is my better day...my better life.........

我猜不透人的心里究竟要的是什么,想的究竟是什么...我想我这辈子都应该猜不透吧...人心难测...希望不要去想就会好一点吧...我想说但我又害怕,我怕说了也没有用...现在我做的一切,都只是掩饰着心痛和我的难过...我真的很想学会自我催眠,这样一来痛觉会少一些...那么我就不会睡不着而感到心烦,感到幸苦....心有点倦了,长夜苦涩难熬...时间几乎停止了,停止了我的思考能力使到我不管做什么都不对...好累...

2006-10-14T14:03:00.000+08:00

Did alot of shit thing this week...cos now i having MOB manning now so have to pack my field pack and stuff...and this few days drank alot...cos my best brother is unhappy about some stuff so have to accompany him and help him settle some stuff...so keep drinking and drinking...sometime it is really funny cos i told myself to cut down drinking but in the end i drank more and more...maybe i shouldnt determine to cut down maybe like that i wont drink more...haha...and i did a very rash and wrong thing on thursday...abit regret it but too late i have already done it...done it due to drink too much and abit drunk liao...not really like my style but i had done it...dont know what to do now cos already did it liao...hope nothing will happen hope everything will go fine...think this thing will stuck in my heart for a very long time...and really is a very long time i can feel it...haiz...dont know why suddenly all my best frez all have trouble and thing to settle which cant...bad luck just fall on us...hope the bad luck faster go away...Hope for a better life and a Better day....

刚刚做了一件错事,一件原本不应该会错的事,但一切已经太晚了...因为我已经做了而且有一点点后悔...不知该如何是好...这几天看到朋友为了女人而感到非常不开心而导致很多外围的事件发生而搞到自己忙的不的了...他跟我说他完全放不下那个女人但他又要假装坚强...我觉的很好笑...既然放不下那为何有要逼自己呢...男人的尊严,男人的面子对他来讲真的那么重要...真是可笑...还好对我而言,我这一辈子最放的下的就是女人...因为我很深深的明白紧紧抓住一个心不在你这里的女人会比你放她离去更痛苦更伤心几百倍...那种痛有如万剑穿心,痛的让你受不了让你没法呼吸...所以离去不一定是坏,因为随着时间的流失记忆和感情就会满满的变淡,变的不在疼痛然后就会忘记,即使记得也不会那么的不开心...也可能是因为我受过了重伤所以免疫能力比较强,所以在这一方面不会那么容易受伤,也有可能是康复的比较快...但我满庆幸的是我还不至于完全好无感情....女人,这一辈子都搞不动的哺乳类动物....

2006-10-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

last week is a busy week and moody week... did alot of thing last week and alot fuck up thing happen...firstly is sat i went back camp for MOB it is so lame lo...ask me go back for 4 to 5 hours den go back home cos they want to test and check our field pack...and i found out i got a new PC new PS the most funny thing is that i got a NEW buddy but he is 14 yrs older than me..haha..can be my father liao lo...duno wat the SAF is doing...abit cock up lo give me a uncle buddy then next time who is help me to carry my MG....die liao la..if go back reservice haha...then have been drinking for 3 days...tue,thur and sunday...duno what i am thinking cos i say i wish to cut down...just not in the right mood every now and then....felt so fuck up inside...felt so pressure inside...dont know why...dont even know what i wan now also...haiz....den friday celebrate "中秋节" with my family...eat alot and chat alot...in the end my grand mother stay with me and slept in my room...haha..den sat night went to celebrate frez bday at Aranda chalet...drink abit cos totally no mood to drink...play until 2++ den went home den morning wake up and went to frez son 1 month celebration...saw the baby and ate alot...den night rush to west coast CC to celebrate campmate 21 bday...after that very tired liao but still go meet frez to a pub for some drink den went home...a very busy weekend but not really happy abt it...duno why...really really HOPE for a Better Day.....

我突然觉得有很多事是事与愿违的...很多东西你不认命是不可以的,因为人生毕竟还是要靠天来安排...我本来也不接受这个事实,但发生了这么多东西后我不认命也不行...虽然很不甘心但是还是要接受这一切,毕竟这就是人生...与其要老天给你美好日子到不如要老天把你变成一个可以接受任何困难或悲伤的一个人....这样一来日子应该就会更美好了吧....

2006-10-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

What a boring week...did nothing meaningful at all...haha...day by day pass and i just feel nothing at all....only sat went to watch jackie chan new movie then went to Dam to chat with frez...and i got my exam result back and i pass everything with not a bad grade so quite happy about it...but i found out i got a fuck up timetable for the next sems...haiz...god will never give you things the way you always wish for...and that is life...haiz...grow until so old the first time have the feeling of wanting the holiday faster end and start school...cos it is too boring...and this sat need to go back camp for MOB..and need to do MOB manning for 1 whole week...haiz...causing me hard to find things to do...wish everything can faster finish faster end...den have a new start again...then i no need to everytime go alcohol drowning...cos i suddenly realise that i am mad...alot of people told me before i am a mad drinker...not because i drink liao will go mad...is when i drink i like drinking water...haha..at first i dun believe them but later on i realise everytime when we went home alot of frez is either drunk or sleeping liao but i am still awake although i am also drunk but i still know wat i am doing...haha...and i tend to drink more and more fierce...3 people drink 2 martell plus 1 red wine....and we still can survive...really must cut down liao,body like abit showing some rejection liao...if still drink like this i think i will die very young...haha...Really Hope For A Better Day....

我年少时,身边的人说不可以轻易流泪....我成熟了以后,我却忘了怎么样流泪...明明流泪的时候,眼睛却流不出眼泪...无形的压力压得我好累,我觉得做人何必做得那么狼狈...做到微笑背后只剩心碎,我开始觉得呼吸有一点难为.....做到日日夜夜撑着面具睡,我觉得真的好累....我真的希望我可以那么轻易的就流泪...那么我可能就不会那么狼狈,那么累....

2006-09-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

it is long since last blog...so update it now...nothing really happen except yesterday which is last sunday went for a sentosa trip....it is a very success trip and i had alot of fun...since very long i have this kind of fun and since long had so much good brothers and friends to play and enjoy...haha...nv really expected it to be so successful and enjoyable...nv waste my and huilong effort jioing so many people...really enjoy and hope can everytime also like this....as all of us grow up le..all have own things to do liao..den everyone drift far...only when in trouble den will meet together to solve it...since long come out enjoy liao....a very good day atleast for me....not like my poly classmate all already set a date to meet for gathering liao but in the end all cannot..duno wat they thinking...already set liao ma..den u still make urself that day busy...haha...all no heart to eat den wat for organise leh...you all not organiser you all wont know the dulan...spend so much effort set liao in the end cancel it...haha...lucky not i organise one...haha....the going back camp more and more near liao...so sian...haiz....dun feel like going back...should have down grade den ORD...wat a waste...nvm la..already fix liao...dulan sian also must do it....nabei...really really HOPE for a better day....a very NICE day....

没想到你还在我心里深处的某一个角落...当我以为你是个错误时,我及时停止了错下去的举动...但我万万没想到这个错误里既然有一点是对的,是真实的...但一切都已经太迟了,你已经有了你应该有的幸福,而我也没有权利或资格去打乱你幸福的生活...虽然有一点后悔但这一切都只可以怪我一个人,怪我会让这个错变的有一点真有一点对...也许这个错根本就不应该存在,根本不应该发生...我真的希望这一切从来没发生过,因为它伤的我很重.......