Monday, February 16, 2009
Finally i finish my 3 years of suffering...haha...last thur final paper finish..i was so happy..poly just went to an end...after 3 yrs of endurance and study it finally came to an end peacefully..haha..but this mean other start of my working life...boring...have to work and work and work until the day i left this world..so boring...now is the time finding jobs...but i am very confuse of what job should i work as...totally duno what to do...anyone have any ideal or have nice hob to intro to me?? the best is easy work but alot of money...wahahaha...but i know it is impossible...sian....
Last fri went to meet ploy yr 3 schmate for dinner then went around clark quay to find place to celebrate...but in the end there wasnt any place nice to go so in the end we went to Beds...total 8 people went and we order 4 bottle of martell...drink chat played...nearly everyone is drunk..haha..but think they enjoyed the night alot...after the drink send them home then went home and sleep...sat wake up early to help parent then rest at home until evening time meet all my best friend and head to town for dinner and shopping...haha...played along the way and disturb alot...just love going out with them..everytime is so full of fun and laughter...haha...after dinner roam around then waited for everyone and decide to head to Mind Cafe at opp parklane...went up played alot of games and have alot of fun...haha..then around 2 ++ went to east coast to find my fren as he is alone there...stay until 4++ then head home to rest...
sunday wake up help parent then head to safra to SWIM..haha..long time never swim le..although very tired but i still went...played alot there too...haha..then after the swim went to TTSH as my fren went to see doctor and we rot at Novena square until 8++ 9...then went back yishun for dinner....then went to Beds as 1 of my fren feel like drinking...haha..but the whole night i didnt drink alot cos i dun feel like it so i keep play pool...haha...played until 3++ then head home..by then i was damn tired...went home bath straight away fall asleep..haha..
today wake up and went to work...nothing else...
but in between work think alot...think alot of things...felt very confuse about my life...alot of things duno what to do....everything seem so unreal but yet so real...deep down in me i know i am not happy but there is too much thing i cant do without thinking much or scare to hurt others...i alwasy tend to care for others feeling first before mine...sometime it is really tired to do so..but i just cant dont care abt it...sometime i really think that i think too much...way too much..until nothing is done...but i'm scare of making mistake...All I want is just to pursuit what I really yearn for, but why is it always so hard...sigh...i always treat things with true heart but things always took me for granted...am i too greedy or am i really in wrong...i really duno...but i know i am really very sad and disappointed abt myself...no matter how much i had done it always seem useless or meaningless...sigh.... so should i give up or should i be persisent...i really duno what to do.....
坚强得太久好疲惫, 真的好想抱爱的人渐渐的睡... 要醉得清醒要知道我是谁, 根本记不得幸福是什么滋味... 我真的很累, 很想真的喝醉... 醉了就什么都不必去理会, 也不管所谓的对不对.... 然后让我的世界只有美没有灰... 但我知道这些都只是我天真的以为, 让我真的好想流泪....我无路可退, 但我为什么流不出泪....
我应该停留着, 还是继续走下去...
and it's the end....
到此为止...
